Jehovah’s Witness’ Anonymous Posts Are Now Allowed!

Mar 29, 2013 by

anonymous jehovah's witnessesI finally figured out why we weren’t getting more commentary from active anonymous Jehovah’s Witnesses on this blog.

It is because I failed to un-check the box in the back end that required an email and name when I switched from Tumblr to WordPress.





No email or name is required for any Jehovah’s Witnesses wishing to remain anonymous.

Post at will and without worrying about anyone figuring out who you are!

I’m sure I’m opening myself up to a lot of anonymous verbal abuse but hey, that’s the price I pay for shooting straight about cult abuse and putting it out there for anyone to see and comment on!

Thanks to all of you wonderful human beings who have commented in spite of my failure to open that up until now!

I’m really looking forward to hearing what you all have to say about some of the Jehovah’s Witness related posts on this blog.

Honest criticism is always welcome as is dialogue and questions.

With regard to comment moderation: Once I approve one of your comments you go straight to the front of the line without moderation or delay. Be careful about linking though. I still have that filter up so don’t post spam or more than one link or you might get blacklisted.

My advice is to try to keep it clean. No commercial BS! No death threats please! We’re trying to maintain a Jehovah’s Witness and child friendly site here.

I know I know I didn’t have to say it twice!

Enjoy your new found freedom of expression and LET THE STONING BEGIN!

Doug Shields is an activist against religious oppression, control and abuse. He has a lot of experience dealing with these issues because he was an active Jehovah’s Witness himself for over twenty-three years. Doug has been privileged to help elders, ministerial servants, full time pioneers and even a circuit overseer to find the strength and determination to face the painful truth about the Watchtower Bible And Tract Society.

If you would like to have Doug speak at your church, meetup or other event you can contact him here.

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  1. Iown Mylife

    It’s wonderful to find your blog. Thanks for the help.

  2. I’m very happy you did and I look forward to hearing more from you. Your writing is superb.



  3. T John

    Hi there. I appreciate your blog. I’m a new study (3 months) but have been going to all the meetings as well as bible study since I began. I jumped right in from the minute I started going to meetings. I try to keep an open mind, and since I’m only a study at this point (no door knocking), it’s not that hard to keep it open. I do sometimes wonder about things. I feel I have no one to actually take my questions seriously. I felt you were so right when you said that the bible study is 2 against 1. I do feel gently ambushed evey now and then. I want to ask my conductor if I can study with another study so that its 2 : 2.

    Anyway, I sometimes get uneasy about the whole elder thing. I want to know (but its useless to ask, so maybe you can tell me) – are the elders watching our every move during meetings, or am I just getting paranoid? I feel scrutinised – as if my every expression along with my conduct is being observed. Honestly, I joined because I became very close to a witness and I always felt a barrier between us due to me being worldly. I wanted so badly to be truly part of her life, and now that I’ve joined I feel she’s accepted me wholly like I always wanted. I also joined because I admire this woman and her kids are so well behaved. I wanted that for my kids too. I wanted what my friend has ( instant great group of friends who are all so decent and don’t abuse alcohol etc).

    I don’t believe in the constant Armageddon threat. It’ll come when it comes. I don’t believe in the whole demon thing (have to bite my tongue not to laugh sometimes when they talk about demons entering shoes, for instance). I don’t believe I getting married so young and I don’t believe that a statue of Buddha or a cross is evil. But I do so admire them. I can’t help it! They keep so clean and are kind and gentle.
    Thanks for listening 🙂 take care.

  4. Hi T John,

    Thanks for writing in.

    Yes, bible studies usually progress from an “open dialogue” to a more or less training session for new recruits. Two against one is the way it is done and has been ever since I was in the group (1960s through 1980s).

    I know what you mean about the feelings of uneasiness. Yes the elders do watch you. They listen to your words and make judgments based upon them. If you are too far outside the lines then they will “kindly” readjust your thinking for you. This can go from a casual conversation asking you to “tone it down” to a full blown elders meeting where you fall under intense scrutiny and potential discipline. I’ve been privy to both so I know what I’m talking about. However, it isn’t just the elders that are watching. Everyone is watching you. If you make a wrong move be prepared to have them turn you in to the elders. Again, been there, done that.

    Many become involved with the Jehovah’s Witnesses because of family relationships or because their close friends are members.

    You wrote:

    I wanted that for my kids too. I wanted what my friend has (instant great group of friends who are all so decent and don’t abuse alcohol etc).

    What you may not realize is that is all an elaborate facade. Yes they are your “friends” just as long as you continue to attend the Kingdom Hall, your study, and begin to go door to door when the time comes. Yes you will have “instant friends” much like “instant potatoes”. But I have to ask, if you are ordering off the menu at a nice restaurant would you order instant potatoes or would you rather have the real thing? This friendship that you speak of is highly conditional upon your performance in the group. If you were to openly disagree with a specific teaching or stop your studying or start any non-approved activity then your so called “friends” would completely disappear. They would no longer be friendly at all. You would be considered “weak” and “worldly” and “bad association”. In essence, you’d be “kicked to the curb” by “the friends”.

    You wrote:

    I don’t believe in the constant Armageddon threat. It’ll come when it comes. I don’t believe in the whole demon thing (have to bite my tongue not to laugh sometimes when they talk about demons entering shoes, for instance). I don’t believe I getting married so young and I don’t believe that a statue of Buddha or a cross is evil.

    Can you hear yourself? You don’t believe in these things and yet you are accepting or at least tolerating these very odd ideas and views because you want to be part of the group because (as you wrote):

    But I do so admire them. I can’t help it! They keep so clean and are kind and gentle.

    I’m going to pose a scenario for you to consider and I want you to think long and hard about it before you sign your life and the lives of your children away to this group:

    Imagine that you go ahead with this and you and your kids join this group. You move through what I call the “honeymoon phase” and into the standard Jehovah’s Witness life of hard work for the “faithful and discreet slave”. Your kids are exposed to hundreds or thousands of hours of programming and they become exactly what you want them to be. They don’t curse, smoke, drink, or act badly. They are model Jehovah’s Witness kids. Then, you start to have doubts. Perhaps you meet a man who isn’t a Jehovah’s Witness or perhaps you start to disagree with the way you or others in the group are treated. Whatever the reason you decide that you no longer want to be a part of this group. So you call your kids together and tell them that you’ve regretted your decision to become a Jehovah’s Witness and you want things to go back to the way they were before you joined. To your horror your kids turn you in to the elders and they disfellowship you. Your kids stop talking to you and you are “blackballed” by everyone in the Kingdom Hall. Of course you’ve alienated all of your “worldly” friends for years so you have nobody to “fall back on”. You’re alone and it is all your fault. You brought your kids into the group and now they have them. I don’t know if you’re married or not but if you are they most likely will have your husband too.

    Are you starting to see what can happen? I won’t tell you not to join this group. I won’t tell you to do anything or not. You are in charge and in total control of your life…at least for now.

    You see the problem with joining the Jehovah’s Witnesses is that it isn’t like joining the local church down the street. No, once you join the Jehovah’s Witnesses your choices become virtually non-existent. You can’t break ranks without extreme distress to your life, your family and your “friends”.

    Jehovah’s Witnesses are “clean” insomuch as it is mandated that they become and stay that way. The downside for failure to maintain their strict laws is public humiliation and ostracism. Is that really what you want for your family? Suppose your oldest starts smoking or dating a “worldly” girl and gets her pregnant? Are you going to be able to cease communication with your own son because that is what the Jehovah’s Witnesses will require of you.

    I would much rather have a true friend that has some faults than to have a “perfect” friend that is only my friend as long as I continue to work for the Watchtower Bible & Tract Society!

    You’re getting ready to take the next step of baptism soon. Just know that when you do that, there is no going back without extreme pain and loss attached to it.

    I hope that you will make the right choice, not only for yourself, but for your family.

    Yours in Christ,

    Doug Shields

  5. Iown Mylife

    T John, you come across as a wonderful person who admires good things and good characteristics and moral values. I want to answer each point you’ve raised, because each point is very important.

    Being around the JW’s for over 27 years, my family and I went through many experiences, both good and bad. We knew many people who began studying on account of wanting a relationship with a person who was a Witness. It was told repeatedly that starting to study with Witnesses because of a relationship and attempting to become acceptable was not the “right” reason to study, and yes the elders do watch such ones. Not only the elders watch, but everybody in the congregation, especially the relatives of the person you’re interested in.

    They watch your face to see the expression when a topic is being discussed from the platform or from a study publication that “worldly” people might consider controversial, or even weird! They want to see that you agree, or that you at least ACT like you agree!

    One elder used to say that marriages should not take place until a new person has been baptized at least a year. They are like the INS – they don’t want a Witness to get in a romance with a non-witness and they don’t want Witnesses marrying a non-witness who joins up just to qualify for marriage to a Witness. So they all keep an eagle eye on the person newly associating – they have to keep the congregation clean! It will continue to be that way until you have proven your intentions and your sincerity, and enough time has gone by to suit them.

    But, as if all that meddling in your romantic business isn’t enough, you will be subjecting your children to social deprivation, educational deprivation, harsh discipline, and forcing them to learn to “put a good face” on ridiculous sacrifices they will endure. No recognition of their birthday – unless you do something for their birthday in secret – LOTS of Witnesses do that. In fact, Witnesses do all kinds of things that they are told not to do. It’s okay tho. IF nobody knows. IF you don’t say anything. You can DO whatever you want as long as you keep it quiet. And as long as it doesn’t get around that you’re a hypocrite who claims to believe the party line but does things that Witnesses are supposed to keep from doing.

    Lots of Witness men have horrible tempers at home. They get so mad at their families that they scream and shout, even in their small kids’ faces. Even with kids from other families around. We know of several families where the kids were beaten with belts and I hate myself for not calling the police on them. They are supposed to drink in moderation if they want to drink. Well I have seen people in drunken stupors and rowdy brawling and behaving no different at “get-togethers” than people leaving a bar at 2 in the morning. As long as nobody SAYS anything, it’s okay. On the other hand, someone could say something about people drinking too much and maybe name your name and maybe you didn’t do it! NOW you’re summoned into the back room and told to answer for your behavior! And you better be sorry you were throwing reproach on Jehovah’s name – even if you weren’t there. Why would good brother or sister so and so say you were there if you weren’t?

    Your children will be forced to endure going to stranger’s homes and attempting to get the people interested in joining the organization. You will begin to feel embarrassed if your kids say “the wrong thing” or otherwise point up the fact that you haven’t “inculcated” the “truth” into their consciousness. Now YOU will begin to raise your voice as you insist that your children pay attention and learn the dogma and learn the right things to say so they don’t let people know what it’s really like in your home, compared to the picture of home life that is worthy of Jehovah. You have to tell your kids that you will let them die rather than allow a transfusion to keep from dishonoring Jehovah.

    If one of your kids gets baptized and then does something to get disfellowshiped, they have to know that you will never speak to them again. Or risk dishonoring Jehovah. And risk getting put out yourself! Or say they don’t actually get disfellowshiped but maybe they just don’t want to go to meetings anymore. People will stop speaking to them. People you have known for years and called friends, will turn their face if they see you in a store. and YOU are supposed to ignore them too, and let your family be torn apart, or else you aren’t loyal to Jehovah!

    You don’t know if they are gentle and decent. You think they are because that’s all you see. JW’s are some great actors, in my opinion. As far as keeping “clean” I have to say there are some of the filthiest living people in the Witnesses that I’ve ever seen. They are tired or lazy or both.

    Lots of them won’t work enough to support themselves or their families because they have to give their time to Jehovah. Let the ones who work to earn a good living support them! They go into the Kingdom Hall with tears running down their faces, that the power is getting shut off, and the brothers pull the money out to pay the bill. Why? Because Jehovah has to take care of the ones who are always at the meetings, they don’t miss a one. They are too tired to work AND go to all the meetings. So the guys who want to work hard and have a decent life get the honor of contributing towards these saints’ way of life.

    There are good things written in the publications about how to live a moral life. But the reality is awful. I would tell anyone who is in your situation to run like the wind and leave that mess in the rearview mirror.

  6. IOML,

    That was pretty dark and sadly it was quite correct.

    I try not to sound too gloomy when talking to people considering joining the group because, quite frankly, it is hard to believe. You hit the nail on the head though. Everything is an act and when you are new in the Jehovah’s Witnesses the acting is SUPERB!

    After you’ve been in the group for awhile though, the cracks start to show. You get to know how people really are. You also get to know that you are STRONGLY encouraged to put on a “friendly face” when a new person is brought to the hall. You are strongly encouraged to welcome them, become their “friend” and invite them to your home or get together etc.

    This type of activity is not just in the Jehovah’s Witnesses. Hassan calls it, in his book Combating Cult Mind Control, “loving them in”. The new visitor is made to feel like a rock star and that is usually enough to get them to “drink the Kool-Aid”.

    Great comments all around!

    Thanks IOML!


  7. T John

    Thanks to both IML. You guys gave me the shivers! Thanks very much for taking the time to give me the other side of the story. I’m already married (20 years) to an agnostic man who would never join the witnesses. I made a typo so I meant that I don’t want my kids marrying so young like they do in the faith. If my kids were shunned I would leave too. There’s no way in hell I’d turn my face when I see them. You both have given me (and the other million who are reading this, lol) a LOT to chew on. Thank you very much for answering my question about being observed so directly.

  8. Iown Mylife

    Doug, your blog is a healing place to be. I appreciate it so much! thank you again.

  9. Healing is a two way street!

    I benefit just as much from it as you do. Glad to have you as a contributor IOML!

  10. My pleasure T John.

    Let me just say that some of the finest people I’ve ever known were Jehovah’s Witnesses. Just because there are “bad apples” in the bunch doesn’t mean there aren’t some very sincere people in the group. I just don’t want to come off as “bashing” Jehovah’s Witnesses. I love them. I just hate what is being done to good people by a leadership that is uncaring, unfeeling, and has led them astray from the real truth about God.

    The real question is simply this: Is what they teach scriptural?

    That was why I left and it is why you should strongly consider your affiliation with this organization. I’ve done my level best to show on this blog how the leadership lies and twists the truth. I’ve also shown, with the help of many contributors, how Jehovah’s Witnesses are constantly mistreated by a leadership that doesn’t really care about them.

    I hope you make a good choice for yourself and your family T John.

    Thanks for writing in.


  11. T John

    This is a comment for I OWN MY LIFE and DOUG. I thought since you both put the time and effort into helping me with my dilemma (studying with the Witnesses and going to meetings but wanting to possibly quit), I’d drop a line and let you know the end of the story. I took your advice and slowly but surely quit.

    I first let my kids stop going to meetings and studying all at once. Next step was me not doing bible study. Next step was me missing meetings. And as of last week, me informing my study conductor that, although she is the sweetest lady I’ve ever known, it’s just not for me and I won’t be going back. She was gracious enough to just say it’s my own choice. PHEW! I’m so glad I found your site and disentangled myself before things got hairy.

    What really creeped me out was a few weeks ago, I saw with my own eyes how a mother and father (father being an esteemed elder) had been shunning their own 15 year old son for a very long time (almost a year). I didn’t even know that he’d been shunned. I only found out after it was announced at the meeting that the son was no longer shunned and that he was back in the congregration. Everyone was jubilant and there were even some tears of happiness that this poor kid had come to his senses. My heart ached for that boy and that was me: CREEPED OUT. That was the last time my kids came with me to the meetings. I remembered what you guys said and my mind was made up that very night. They never used the word “shunned” on the platform. They said something along the lines of the boy being back in the congregation. I asked my study conductor what it meant and she told me he was at the end of the shunning period. I asked the mother what he’d done wrong but she wouldn’t tell me. She said one day she would. I guess I’d first have to be baptized to find out! No thanks!

    So thank you for helping someone who came very close to – well, I don’t even wanna go there.

    T. John

  12. Iown Mylife

    Dear TJohn, My comment in answer to your comment is a huge thank you! What a great way to start my morning, by reading that I may actually have helped someone stay out of the Jehovah’s Witness organization. If those early Bible Students ever had the truth about the Bible’s message, it was hijacked and perverted into a zombie factory somewhere along the way. Congratulations to you for reclaiming authority over your own life, and I wish you good health and happiness in Freedom!

  13. I’m happy to have played a part in your decision to leave the Jehovah’s Witnesses T. John!

    Here’s my take: If I can help you get your family out of the group before they become indoctrinated then there is NO TELLING how many generations I have positively affected in doing so.

    I can’t think of a greater way to justify the years I wasted in the Jehovah’s Witnesses than by helping others to avoid the tragic mistakes that my parents and I made.

    Congratulations to you and your family, especially your children.

    God bless!


  14. Norman

    Is there a better one other than JW’s. I mean according to bible understanding and moral … other than how they handle tings?

  15. Yeah. They’re called Christians Norman.

  16. lllllll

    none of the elders kindly tell you what to do they read from the bible to you and you make your own decision after all jehova wants you to love him because you want to not because some one tells you to or forced …

  17. Wow. You obviously haven’t been in the organization very long. Give it some time. You’ll figure it out.

  18. Nelly

    Listen to Doug!!! My son married a “worldly girl”. And three days before he got married I had a elder take me to the back with my husband as well and told us that if we went to the wedding it was because we loved our son more than we loved Jehovah God And if we went we would lose privileges. My two children were told that if they also went to the wedding they would never become ministerial servants. They would also not be recommended to go to an international assembly. Today they still don’t give me comments, They almost to me like I’m disfellowshipped And I’m torn because my children took this religion because of me.

  19. Nelly

    I wish I would have Read this email about 20 years ago when I started. I would not be in the position that I am right now between my children and faking Because I’m afraid that my actions would jeopardize them. You do become paranoid and scared of everything they told you. they use every opportunity To make you feel you’re not adequate. i often think about the many times that my mother was asked me to come see her and because it was a birthday or it was Mother’s Day I didn’t get to be with her Now she’s dead and I will never be able to make up the time I didn’t spend with her.

  20. Demetri

    Hi Mr Doug
    Do you ever thing to create small congregations?
    I am available in Baltimore Maryland

  21. Oh Lord no! The last thing I would ever want is a group of people looking to me for direction!

    My whole focus with this blog is to allow people to realize that they are truly free and that they are in charge of their lives. Empowering people and liberating them from tyranny is its own reward. I seek no recognition and I’ve refused many attempts by the media to interview me because of this blog and my experiences.

    No I just write and hope that what I write helps people to see their lives with new eyes…with new hope and a vision for the future!

  22. Patty

    You guys are a bunch of morons. I have been a Witness for the last 30 years and believe you me, I would not want to be anywhere else. This is a protection from the filth out there. You show me any other religion that even comes close to the people that worship the only true God Jehovah! No one can compare. As for the elders watching your every move – that is just hogwash. You go there with an open mind. You do however get taught to be a better person. If you walk into a Kingdom Hall dressed all slovenly, no-one will even say anything. Everyone gets treated the same. As for you Doug, you ten-to-one could not follow Jehovah completely and leaned towards the filth in the world. Hence your blog.

  23. JW’s all assume that anyone who leaves has done so for immoral reasons. That makes them sleep better at night.

    “Who would possibly leave Jehovah’s organizational protection for a difference in belief?”

    So they start name calling, judging, and stereotyping.

    The Pharisees did it to Jesus so why not?

    Thanks for the tip Patty.


  24. Patty

    The only reason I am calling you a bunch of morons is because you do not know what you are talking about. If it was not for us becoming Witnesses when we did, both my husband and myself would not be married right now and our kids would be a bunch of washouts. When we decided to become better persons and to worship Jehovah, our lives changed for the better. We have never said that people leave the organization because of immoral reasons. People leave sometimes because they feel that they cannot live up to Jehovah’s standards (which I am pretty sure you could not). My daughters decided on their own to become one of Jehovah’s witnesses. We never pressurized them. They make up their own minds about everything. We are only there to guide them. My girls are 20 and 18 respectively and you know what, they are not even the slight bit interested in what the world offers because they know it is just a bunch of filth. They have never had any boyfriends and they don’t even worry about going to parties and stuff. People think because we are Witnesses that we live a life of complete ignorance. We have parties (clean ones not like what the world has) and the kids enjoy themselves. Jesus said that the world will hate us because of his name sake and this is what is happening. You have just proved it.

  25. I beg to differ. I know exactly what I’m talking about because I lived it. The fact that I’ve been able to aid pioneers, elders and circuit overseers in overcoming their programming and going on to lead fulfilling lives is a testament to that in and of itself.

    You say you never “said” that people leave the organization for “immoral reasons” yet out of your same mouth you stated

    “People leave…because they feel they cannot live up to Jehovah’s standards (which I’m pretty sure you could not)

    Come on Patty. You can’t be this delusional can you? You immediately contradict your prior comment and then come right back and accuse me of not being able to live up to Jehovah’s (moral) standards.

    Really? Are you really this delusional?

    If your daughters are 18 and 20 and they don’t have boyfriends then lady, either they are extremely homely, or you have been handed a very large dose of what you’re trying to dish to me. Get ready for cold hard reality when it comes knocking on your door. I remember all of the smug JW parents who thought their little beams of theocratic sunshine could never disappoint.

    As a parent, all I can say is, catch a clue and really start talking with your kids instead of glossing over the Watchtower rhetoric with them. Maybe they’ll let you in but only if you stop judging everything and everyone…including them.


  26. Patty

    My girls made up their own minds. I never pressurized them to take their stands against what this world offers. They could not be bothered with the disgusting things of the world. They know right from wrong. We gave them the talk when they were young and explained everything to them. We left it with them to make up their minds whether they want to follow Jehovah or their peers in the world. They go to a public school and by no means are they living secluded lives at all. They don’t even listen to the music because all that it promotes is sex, sex, sex, money and filth.
    I am by no means disillusional. I go through life with my eyes wide open and would much rather stay right in the middle of Jehovah’s organization where I am protected and my girls have chosen the same. Our worldly neighbours have even commented on how well behaved my girls are and even on the way they dress (and definitely not like the teenagers of today). They are amazed that they have not conformed to the teenagers around them.
    We are by no means brainwashed either as you are trying to imply. We have worldly friends, we work with them, we socialize with them. My girls have worldly friends whom they invite over quite a lot for parties and things. So if you are implying that all the Witnesses in the world are brainwashed then maybe you have lost the plot somewhere.

  27. Well Patty you’ve told us that you have worldly friends. You’ve told us that you’re not “brainwashed”. You’ve told us that you’re not delusional. You’ve told us that you’re a “liberal parent” in that you allow your children to make their own decisions about how to live their lives.

    It sounds like you have the perfect Jehovah’s Witness life.

    I have just one question for you Patty:

    Why are you posting on an apostate blog?


  28. PlaceCleverNameHere

    Ummm awkward much?


    I have absolutely no doubts about your faith and the clearly strong (if not misplaced) love for the WBTS (please notice I didn’t say Jehovah). You, your husband and your girls are slaving away for an organization that wants nothing more than for you and your family to keep up those “sunny witness” appearances than think for yourselves.

    I understand that you didn’t pressure your girls into their dedication at one of many circuit assemblies or district conventions. I mean Lord knows my grandparents didn’t sit me down and say “Well kid here it comes. You’re 11 and seventh grade is right around the corner, you go on ahead and make us proud by taking that dip!!” They did nothing of the sort I can promise you that. But you know what they did do? *come closer I’ll tell you all about it* At every single Book Study (at our house), every Thursday night Theocratic Ministry School, every Sunday meeting especially during the Watchtower study, every Wednesday night Family Bible study they’d do exactly what they had been programmed to do….AGREE. Agree with every 12-19 year old in the congregation who made a “faith affirming” comment from their overly highlighted and underlined watchtower magazines. Nodded when an older brother or sister spoke of their struggles in the world before one Saturday morning they were contemplating ending their lives if only “somewhere somehow God could show them the way.” Those nods, the hushed “yes” or quite frankly the overzealous “that’s right” moment from my grandparents built up over time and sealed my fate. BTW I did get baptized at a circuit assembly…so that the appropriate pictures could be taken at wonderfully well lit angles. Besides, there are a heck of a lot of folks rushing the pool at a convention, you just blend in. But an assembly? Whoa baby whip out the towels and pats on the back because now everyone knows you, they saw your dripping face on the monitor and right below it it says the name of your congregation. “Wow that so-and-so congregation had how many?!” That’s what it boils down to, numbers. Just numbers.

    You say they made up their own minds? Hate to break it to you but NO they didn’t. You showed them exactly where you and your line of thinking stands and that’s all you had to do to “help” them make up their minds. “I’m nodding, I’m commenting. You should do the same girls. You should do the EXACT same.” Odds are, just from previous posts, that they use the same language as you too. I put money down right now saying that they can’t even describe anything not twisted by the “Society” without using your go-to, knock down, drag-out word FILTH. Darlin’ do you even realize how many times you typed that word? Lord have mercy break open a thesaurus if you must bash every single thing this world has to offer. Spice it up a bit….how’s about I dunno….PUTRESCENCE, MUCK, EXCREMENT? Jazz it up or make it a game if you must. This is one of the biggest problems I have with this faction, nothing new to spew!! Just the same sneaky chicanery (have your girls look that word up, doubt it’s anywhere in the Reasoning Book or Insight Book) that they’ve been popping out with since the 1870s.

    I suppose this is the part that I say I feel bad for you? You don’t feel bad for yourself so that’s not needed. As long as you’re doing what you want or think you have to do then God Speed. I do however feel for your girls. There may come a day that they muck up royaly (in the eyes of the WBTS). There may come a day when your youngest is pitted against her older sister and vice versa. When mom and dad can’t invite one of them to stay in the family home anymore. When they’re on their own without the proper education needed in this world. When the part time job at Target or Walmart doesn’t hold as much water when you’re actually out there and have to support yourself without mom and pop in your corner.

    I can feel the love already. Warm and fuzzies are radiating.

    All the Best

  29. Anonymous

    When you find the TRUTH and yes I mean the TRUTH, knowing you’ll playgerize that I put that in caps, outside of Jehovah’s Organization, let us all know – Pick a name for yourself Korah, Pharisee or any other apostate that Mose or even Jesus spoke to. Jesus himself said the his disciples would be reproach for his name sake. And yes this world is filled with filth as the sermon on the mount indicates. You think you eat us for lunch? Your my dessert. And btw, moron’s are what moron’s are – Moron’s – to quote Forrest Gump in a different angle.

  30. Ahh more lovely hate mail from God’s self appointed judges and executioners.

    At least Forest Gump had the courage and conviction to follow his own dreams and his own road without having to follow a group that would tell him what to do, what to think and how to live. You remind me of the scads of people who followed Gump when he was running across the country until he decided he was tired and wanted to go home.

    They asked: “What do we do now?” That’s pretty much where many Jehovah’s Witnesses are right now in their lives given the changes in the organization that all but the completely clueless see right through. Technology has caught up with the seven old men and they can’t hide anymore. The only people who follow them now are those who are so brainwashed that they couldn’t form an original thought if someone held a gun to their head.

    I have no need for a following. I have no need to follow. Truth is where you find it and you’ll find it everywhere if you bother to look.

    As for your snide remark about me being like Korah let me just say: The last thing I want is for anyone to follow me. I don’t feel the need to convert anyone to anything. I could pretty much care less what you believe. I started this blog because of MY beliefs and MY escape from the Watchtower. I wrote because it helps ME to deal with the mind control that had filled my life so much that I thought it was normal. I write because I was never given an opportunity to retort. I was never given an opportunity to say my piece. I was merely ignored and put into the neat little “apostate” box and thrown away.

    You sure are fascinated with the world “filth” aren’t you? Even though you’re anonymous, I know it is you every time you post because you can’t resist using that word. It must have some special meaning for you. Perhaps you have a secret desire for filth in your life or perhaps you reveled in it when you were younger. Referring to me as your dessert implies more than a “Freudian slip”. Sorry but I’m taken.

    You seem to have it all figured out. Yet you can’t resist logging onto an apostate blog (a serious Jehovah NO NO) and posting your rabid commentary with no point to your diatribe.

    Can you engage in any type of constructive debate without name calling and stereotyping? Can you challenge any point on this blog or are you sadly lacking in that department and are simply content to insult those who post here?

    Please enlighten us oh great judge of all that is.

  31. Anonymous

    Doug, you are a good man for putting it out there. I was raised in it and had a hell of a personal struggle to get out and continue life as it should be. I found your site when I looked up “indoctrination” and reading about this stuff 25 years later, I can see the patterns with eyes that I didn’t have when I was too close. I find myself in a position now where I am going to have a discussion with my young, impressionable children about things Grandma says when they are visiting her. (like the creepy Sparlock cartoon) They will not go through the fear and guilt cycle that I did growing up. Child abuse, pure and simple.

  32. PlaceCleverNameHere

    Spelling? Grammar? Are these the things on Anonymous’ aka Patty’s plate today? Nope. Clearly not at all on the agenda. It’s just so sad to think that I was once a part of this…..this thing. This machine. Just another cog like this lovely individual here. Great retort Doug as usual. Keep it up sir 😉

    P.S.: Let’s not start throwing apostrophes around all willy nilly, they’re not candy you know. A simple pluralization will do just fine. Sheesh.

  33. Thank you for your kind words Anonymous.

    That was one of the main reasons for this blog: To help break the cycle of mental abuse that is perpetuated by the Watchtower Bible & Tract Society.

    Contrary to what some of the more “rabid” JW’s might have you believe I’m not recruiting. I’m simply trying to help those who have struggled or are struggling to make sense of what has been done to them and to take some of the venom out of being raised JW.

    I wanted a sane site that would allow people to see not only my thoughts but those of others in a non-judgmental environment. I’m amazed that I’ve actually been able to pull it off but it works and I’ve been privileged to help a LOT of people to get past their experience in the JW’s.

    Thanks again and your comments are most welcome on this blog!

  34. It is amazing to see how we’ve all grown since leaving the organization. I look back on some of my actions and I shudder to think of what a self-righteous pompous ass I was when I was younger and “in” the group. I’m just so happy that I was finally able to find my way out of it and into a life that was of my own choosing and making. There is hope for all who are dealing with this twisted mockery of what Christ meant for it to be.

    Thanks PCNH! You rock!

  35. lost in love

    I fell in love with a JW whom is now disfellowshipped for wanting to stay in a relationship with me. It has been over a year now. He is now talking of going back to the meetings and getting reinstated. I told him I would back him in his decision and would walk away when they come down on him for still being with me. He seems to think they will not do that. That there are many JW’s that are married to wordly people. He wants to go back because he got his mother studying and now they do not have a relationship anymore and he would like to get that relationship back. I am just at a loss on what to do I do not want to lose him but have made it VERY clear I will NOT attend meetings, I will NOT become a JW. He is always trying to tell me what the bible says he will read a scripture and then say “and that means” I just answer with they taught you well to keep people from thinking for themselves! Another issue is the will read a scripture out of NWT bible and I will say and where is the rest and finish the scripture out of my KJ bible. Why are they so diffrent anyway?? I guess I am just asking for advice on what to do we get along, have fun and laugh alot together. So do I let him go now or wait to see what the elders have to say about us when he goes back? So confused!!!! 🙁

  36. Anybody out there want to weigh in on this HUGE problem among ex JW’s?

  37. Read my reply to another question along these same lines by going to this link:

    You’ll have to scroll all the way down to the bottom of that post to see it.

    I hope it helps you.


  38. lost in love

    Yes that helped thank you!!! It makes me sad but it helped… 🙁

  39. Anonymous

    Doug I love ur blog I’m a jw that was gone for 4 years and when coming back I’ve seen truths I didn’t before 1 thing is the new light they preach that on the governing body is the faithful slave now that means 8 men are the soul dissing makers of this religoin when I asked why this is I was told because more ppl now then ever r entering the faith then ever claiming to be a annotated and I’m a bad speller sorry if things aren’t spelled right it scares me to wanna leave because half my family r witnesses and I know they will never speek to me again after I leave but I’m a truth over happiness kind of women. And when I see all my friends they seem so loving when I’ve been taught that u need an organization to feel whole u search for a group instead of loseing ur self and being ok alone. I hate these leaders I love the ppl and I feel like I’m crazy for having these thoughts no 1 to talk to but ur sites helps me a lot I hope 1 day I’ll find the ceriage to leave and be on my own even though I will lose everye one in my cercet.

  40. Thanks for your comment Anonymous. Yeah that is a dilemma that many Jehovah’s Witnesses face and one of the most effective means to keep the rank and file in line. If you speak up or leave, then you leave your friends and family at the door. That is one of the most traumatic things that you or I will ever face.

    I can’t judge you for wanting to stay. I was in the same exact situation myself. I wish you peace regardless of your decision or lack of one. It is a tough thing to be true to oneself but oh so rewarding in so many ways.


  41. Anonymous

    i was trying to find info on werethe money train of the witness go’s not much out there just that bethlites clam a vow of poverty u have any insight on this they just sold there new york estate for 800 millon dollors what happens to that is there any way to see if they abuse this money if taxes are payed and if u know whats the word on the whole death on a stack compared to a cross let me know


    Hiya Pattie
    If you just followed the principles of Christ and taught your children the same you wouldn’t need 7 men in Brooklyn to tell you, Christ is the leader of his people and reading and applying the bible principles is the only protection one needs, the organization will not save you, and no matter how well dressed you and your children are will not save you, what will is love of God Christ and neighbor.

    Also the fact that you said that you are associating with worldy ones as is your kids inviting them to parties, is surprising as you are disobeying your leaders the GB, as you are posting on what they would deem an apostate site, I don’t believe that you are the model JW as you say you are, and sadly you sound bitter, resentful and lost.

    But all the same peace be with you through Christ.

  43. Lucy

    Hi. Both my sister and my mum have received anonymous letters though the post. Hand written in red ink both letters say “where will you go when you die” then a number of passages from The Old Testament including: Mt 7:13,14, Eph 5:5,6, Gal 5,19-21 and 1Cor 6:9,10.
    The passages are all about the road to hell and leading an immoral lifestyle.
    Can anyone please shed some light on these passages and whether you would consider the letters to be threatening? Both letters contain some personal information, so whoever has sent them has taken the time to find out about my mum and sister. Any help/ opinions would be greatly appreciated.
    Many thanks

  44. Anonymous

    Hey Doug,
    My Boyfriend is JW and we have been together for a very long time, and would like to continue. I am very afraid of the consequences of getting married, as i am not a JW. I am not sure i can handle following a religion i do not 100% agree with and living by their “rules”. I don’t want his life to be difficult and on many occasions i have asked him whether it would be best to part ways, but neither of us have the strength. After reading some of the other posts i can now understand my situation more clearly… Any advice?

  45. Either decide you’ll be a JW or end the relationship. Any other way is fraught with pain and heartache. The other option is to have him seek some psychological counseling to counteract what he’s been exposed to. Depending on his level of commitment to you that might be an option that would work. Show him my blog and get his honest reactions.

    I’ve written some very specific posts regarding this situation. Specifically this one:

    Know that any children you have will be faced with this situation as well. I suggest that you give a lot of thought about them before you make a lifelong commitment.


  46. I can’t speak for some of the psychos out there or even if they are JW’s or not.

    I would be very careful and notify the authorities about these as they could be perceived as threatening and harrassing. Also alerting the postmaster would be a step I would take.

    Wishing you well.


  47. Anonymous

    My man love your stuff by the way I’m a 25 year old living with my jw parents I was baptized so I’m consider a brother but don’t believe because of bad choices I’m back in the loon toon land of the jw I was wondering is there any type of organizations that help finically people stuck in cults to get out??? I mean it’s abuse straight up plz hit me back I thought if anyone knows the answer it be you brother.

  48. I honestly don’t know of any financial resource for cult survivors. Might be worth a Google check to see.

  49. Anonymous

    Alright thanks if you come across it please let me know I have about 10 young adults that want to escape but are scared of money issue just as I am

  50. Anonymous

    What’s the jws stance and yours on medical marujuana?

  51. Personally, I think the use of medical marijuana is perfectly acceptable. I lost my dad at 53 to cancer and he was taking “marijuana pills” for many months to help with the lack of appetite and stomach upset from the chemotherapy he was undergoing. It made him feel better, helped with the nausea and increased his appetite which extended his life.

    As long as a doctor prescribes it, I don’t think there is a thing wrong with it.

    For the record, I don’t use marijuana or any other illegal substances.

    Now with regard to the official JW stance regarding medical marijuana, I haven’t read a thing about it in their publications. This is a fairly new “wrinkle” that they will have to iron out over time. The “don’t ask don’t tell” policy of a lot of JW’s would probably be the best way to approach this.

    If it ever got out (became public knowledge in the congregation) that you were smoking marijuana for ANY reason, the elders would have to meet with you to determine if your prescription was for a “valid illness”. If it was just for “headaches” then they’d probably opt to disfellowship you or reprove you or at the very least make you stop using it. They might advise you to seek other methods of treatment. I think it is ironic that they have no problem with habit forming drugs like Percocets that can cause addiction and even death. Yet they have a huge issue with smoking marijuana (a non lethal and non habit forming drug) for the same illness. Of course, the Watchtower is no different from any other powerful organization. Even our own government has gone to great lengths to prevent the use of medical marijuana. Yet, nobody has ever died from a marijuana overdose. However many have died from the use of other more “acceptable” drugs.

    Some more hard line Jehovah’s Witnesses will tell you that marijuana will lead to demonic possession. They will say that it is closely linked to spiritism.

    To these people I would simply say this:

    The Greek word for spiritism is φαρμακεια or in English, pharmakeia. It is the word used for sorcery in the New Testament. It is also the root word for our modern word “pharmacy”. If they want to bring the spiritism argument to the table then they would have to stop every single drug in use today because they are all obtained at the “sorcery store” i.e. a pharmacy.

    I think it is interesting that the caduceus wand (shown below) is the symbol for our modern medical profession and yet this was a magical symbol and instrument in past centuries and is, in fact, still in use today by certain Mystery Schools like the Golden Dawn and the Rosicrucians.

    Does that mean that you can’t seek medical treatment? Could that result in your being demonized? Are you beginning to see how paranoid and illogical the Watchtower’s arguments are?

    Obviously their arguments don’t hold any water when placed under the microscope of logic and perspective.

    Caduceus Wand

    Anonymous, I wrote this reply to arm you with the logical reasoning you might need to counter anyone who is trying to stop you from doing what your doctor has advised. Bottom line? This is YOUR LIFE and not the Watchtower’s. They constantly meddle in personal choice decisions like this and probably always will. I was actually counseled by my elders not to marry my wife because she wasn’t “spiritual” enough. Like it was ANY of their business!

    My advice? Do what your doctor tells you to do and tell the Watchtower to stop interfering with your medical treatment.

    I hope this helps you.


  52. Hello, I was a witness for about 25 years. And yes you are always being watched, it is not only in your head. This is just the beginning ,be aware. Ask questions do not just accept what they say as truth. If it is to good to be true it probably is. it took me some time to wake up. Keep your eyes open. All of their rules are not bible based. Listen to your inner voice. This is not the truth. They tell us not to talk or read anything from those who are not witnesses. What are they afraid of??

  53. No one has the right to tell you can not go to this wedding. This religion does not go by the bible. it is like a prison. No where in the bible is this done. Run while you still can. Get out while can but they will not leave you alone. They break up families. Do not choose them over family. ask yourself would Jesus do this?? Is this love??

  54. Thank you Emma! Please feel free to comment on any of our posts!

  55. I am so sorry and it is not your fault. I finally left because I decided to choose my family. Your mom knows you love her, these people blind you so you can not see the truth. You are a very brave woman and please forgive yourself. These people have to answer for their sins. Love and Peace!! PS do you have any family who are not a witness? Just keep praying, ok

  56. The New World Translation is the only bible were apostate is mentioned but not in the King James. I looked in Acts and Daniel.? So it is not in any bible except yours. So why is that?

  57. Patty who are you trying to convince.? How would the brothers feel if they knew you were on here or your husband in fact or your daughters. I have three children and believe they are good at telling you what you want to hear. You better open your eyes. I thought you were not to mingle with the world and that means your daughters also?

  58. What was the questions we had to answer about?? Anyone know? Ex Witness Em

  59. Anonymous

    Military services, thou shall not kill? And is there any proof of the trinity because the people I’m studying said they can prove without a doubt that the trinity is false

  60. Check the links below for answers to both of your questions. These are articles on my blog that I have written:

    If, after reading these five articles you aren’t thoroughly convinced that the JW’s are wrong on all points regarding military service and the deity of Christ then I’ll give you 100% of your money back.


  61. Anonymous

    Wow I read those scripture about the trinity in are new bible and its appalling the changes to those scriptures for there agenda I wish I spoke greek so I could know which one is the corrwct translation

  62. The fact is that you don’t have to!

    Take the Kingdom Interlinear and read the actual translated English under the Greek.

    You’ll be able to see the actual translation versus the “sanitized” version in the margins. You can also read other translations online.


  63. Anonymous

    You just explained my childhood, and early adulthood, married to a Jw who was physically and emotionally abusive, I was told by the Elders to be a more patient and understanding wife! A nightmare it is, the best thing I ever did was divorce my husband and leave never to look back!

  64. Good for you Anonymous!

  65. Anonymous

    Isn’t it true that the new world translation the most accurate if not can you please prove it?


    I started working at a credit union here in town a year ago, and met the love of my life. He was a JW, and now he is a christian. We both knew our differences in our views of who God is amongst other things like heaven/hell however even still we fell in love and one day we talked, we prayed, and now he has heard the real “TRUTH” about Christ and his love, and forgiveness of our sins. The only downfall is that my boyfriend has lost all touch and communication with his family. He was born and raised in that relgion and came from 3rd generation of JW his parents were so very deeply upset about his decision to be with me and to disassociate himself from the religion. He tells me he’s ok, but yet i still feel saddened that his family will not talk to him anymore. I feel i am the reason, however he always assures me it really doesnt matter and he is the happiest and most filled now that he is with me and is a christian and believer. Maybe this site will help him with encouragement. I mean after being a JW for 27 years of his life…. and learning so many new and different things has been mind blowing for him. He won’t even call his parents and the only thing i sense from him is “fear” when i even bring it up.
    Its really sad, however i know things will get better eventually. Maybe not necessarily with his parents however the feelings on our end might. He has my family support, mom, dad, grandparents, aunts and unlces who love him just as if he was their own. We are very close, and it was unlike anything he had ever been apart of before.
    Thanks for your blog…. i love reading and learning what you know. 🙂

    Portland, TX

  67. Have him read Stephen Hassan’s books on cult mind control. Even though YOU think he’s cured and maybe even HE thinks he’s cured…he’s not. It will take a full understanding of what cult programming is and how it works to fully help him to overcome the deeply embedded psychological loops that are still in his mind.

    If you want to be absolutely certain that he’s safe from the programming that he’s been exposed to, buy the books for him. Read the books together and talk about what you both learned from them. He will absolutely freak out when he sees how similar the Moonies are to the Jehovah’s Witnesses.


  68. Victoria


    Thank you I will definitely get that book.

    And thanks again so so much for your site, your dedication and shedding light on these subjects.

    He was reading through posts on here last night for several hours and was amazed at what he was finding out.

    I appreciate your time.

    In Christ,

  69. Anonymous

    I’m stuck in this organisation, I’m nearly 30 married with 2 small children and my husband and I have finally woken up. I’ve been a witness since I was born and I’m biding my time to leave and fade, it’s encouraging to come to sites like yours and the delusion of the Witnesses baffles me. In one breath they are calling you all morons (aka Patty) then in the next claim that they would be hated because of his names sake. I have to say Patty yours is the most hateful post on here, each blog or youtube channel I come across that is there to help ones who are leaving or who have left or are waking up and asking questions; is full of hateful comments posted by the Witnesses. So to anyone reading this, ask yourself whose being persecuted for their beliefs here? The person who gave all her life to an organisation who is at a crossroads realising the failed dates realising that her parents who were young in the 60’s and were told by the Awake magazine would never grow old are now pushing 60 themselves, someone who begins to realise the complete and honest history of said organisation through study and can see for themselves that it truly is not Gods organisation but another false religion. If that person leaves because they truly believe they are abandoning a false prophet and a false religion as the scriptures tell them to and are shunned by family and “friends” for doing so are they not being persecuted for following what the scriptures tell them to do? I believe it’s the men and women who honestly examine the organisation from it’s very beginnings (it’s taken me 2 years) and prayerfully consider the scriptures and question their place in this organisation and decide to leave who are persecuted by the Witnesses who name slap them as “morons” evil, wicked, liars, treacherous, mentally diseased etc etc. I want to thank all the apostates who bothered to show up to conventions showing on your banners and boards all the watchtowers literature which woke me up and got me really thinking! I had no idea pyramidology had anything to with our organisation until I saw it mentioned on a blog at the time I was very much still a JW and my mental response at the time was “what an idiot, I don’t even know what pyramidology is and what on earth has that got to do with the watchtower?” It wasn’t until the out of darkness dvd was released and in a lot of the bible students pictures was a big poster of Russell’s pyramid that he used to calculate significant dates in history past present and future, it’s amazing how blind I really was as a witness versus how awake I feel now. If your not prepared to look at apostate material designed to help you think then try and get copies of Russells books and Rutherfords and if reading them isn’t enough to convince you your stuck in a false religion then I don’t know what will. Good luck getting hold of them though, they are not to be found in your Kingdom Hall library’s any more I wonder why? I hope something I’ve said May be enough to make someone else think even if it’s just one person.

  70. Awesome post Anonymous!

    Thank you for sharing your honest and obviously heartfelt thoughts with us!


  71. Micah


    What a wonderful thing that you are doing! I am a 4th generation (no longer practicing JW). I wish I had a place like this or the internet for that matter when I was a young man. I just want some of these people that have had these terrible experiences with the JW religion that it gets a lot better as time goes on . Distance from them does bring a clarity which you have never known especially if you have been a JW since birth. I have been beaten in front of the congregation and in private too many times as a child ( this was in the 70’s ) I can make it through experiences such as this than anyone can break free of them. Be strong and question what the truth really is and seek it on your own. I think it’s what Jesus would have done.

    By the way I am an atheist Doug I found your comments on the subject very interesting. I do though appreciate the obvious true Christian ideal that you have displayed in helping people. I know a certain “organization” that should take some notes.

    Thanks for giving me a place to post and take care!

  72. Thanks Micah!

    You are so right. The longer you are away from the Jehovah’s Witnesses the more normal your life will become.

    BTW: It’s okay if you you don’t believe in God. He still believes in you! 🙂

    Your words were really encouraging to me and I know that others will find them to be so.

    We have some atheists as well as agnostics in our group (and we don’t discriminate!) so you’re in good company here.


  73. As you know Jehovah Witnesses do not look at any literature but their own. As a ex you probably have loads of their old books and literature. If you could please copy the paragraph or page in a pdf. file or whatever and include them with your rebuke! Thanks

  74. Anonymous

    Hi have been on this site a few times now I don’t agree with everything you say however you have made some very interesting points about Charles Russell and his use of pyrmidtology the connection with the Egyption god of Ra the pyrimid at his gravesite etc etc my question always was why does the watchtower leave off there wt CD anything before 1935 ? I,d never thought of this before but they would always say that there publications were not inspired of God.

  75. The reason is quite obvious: A lot of the teachings of the Watchtower prior to 1935 have been discarded and replaced with “new light”. Most JW’s don’t realize that the history goes all the way back to 1874 and that much of what was taught then was nothing like the “truth” they have today. If one were to read the writings of Russell they would start asking a LOT of questions that would be embarrassing to the current leadership. So to avoid all of this they just leave it out. Pretty smart if you want to cover up the history.


  76. Actually most of the literature is available in the public domain. I don’t keep much in the way of JW literature. I have my copy of the NWT and the Greek Interlinear and that is about it. Actually that is all that I need to prove that what they teach isn’t Biblical.


  77. Anonymous

    I enjoy your blog. It is good to hear about the Jehovah’s Witness cult from both ends, and hear each side carefully.

    My mother had fallen in love with a Jehovah’s Witness man (who had lied about his religion so they could be together), but they had broken up six months later while she was healing from Thyroid Cancer. Barely (maybe not even) a month after that, she decided she was going to pretend to join the Jehovah’s Witnesses in an attempt to win him back, seemingly without thinking how my younger brother and I thought about it.
    It seemed like she was pretending at first, and she constantly kept reassuring me, and all her friends that she was just doing this to get closer to her ex, but she has fallen for their charms quite easily. Of course, I figured if she wanted to change her religion as long as I stayed out of it that would be fine, since she is a grown woman, and can make her own decisions. However, when she started involving me is when I had a problem. She had told her close JW friends that I requested a New World Translation Bible, and would make me sit down during studies, just to make her look like a good mother, getting her children involved.

    Whenever I try to talk to her about a contradiction I see in the Jehovah’s Witness contexts, she will try to find a way to justify it, usually by claiming I only use the internet (I don’t), or when I don’t it is because I study alone, and I’m “not giving them a chance”. For example, let’s say I’m talking about the shunning factor. When I asked her about it, she claims it is only when the certain Jehovah’s Witness committed a serious crime against the Watchtower, and after being given several chances and still does not turn from it, only then do they shun them. I don’t want to study with other JW’s regularly since I’m afraid I’ll become another mindless drone without an original thought. I value my creativity (most of it is what they would consider “Satanic”) and my logic (what they claim to be “pessimism”), and I don’t want to change, unless it’s for the better. She keeps claiming she can’t make me a Jehovah’s Witness, but continues to heavily encourage that I sit down for one of their studies so that I too, can see the “truth”.

    The other night, when she had asked me about my faith, I had told her that Nihilism, the belief life has no purpose, made more sense to me than Jehovah’s Witnesses beliefs do, even though I would not believe it, since I believe Jehovah is real, and I have morals. She told me that my faith was “so far off from God, it’s not even funny” and that I need to “get right with him” or my life will never get better. I feel like I cannot speak freely around her, or openly enjoy the things I usually do. My brother tries to enjoy what he usually does, but often gets in trouble for doing so. I had often had to cover up evidence of the way he enjoys things so he won’t get in trouble. She has recently gotten more deeply involved, and this has taken a toll on her health. I keep trying to find new ways to warn her that this is a trap, and she won’t listen to me.

    It has been almost one year since she has hastily made this decision, and she is purely convinced she knows “the truth”, and that all other religions are full of hypocrisy. I know in my heart the things they teach are wrong. I would leave, but I can’t since I am under the age of 18, and legally, I have to deal with it. My parents had gotten divorced, and my mom got soul custody, since my father was neglecting and verbally, and sometimes physically abusive. Luckily, the majority of my family members are non-JW Christian, except for one cousin who is questioning her beliefs, so that allows me to keep some of my sanity. I feel scared, trapped, and I don’t know what to do.


  78. The best advice I can give is in this article. I hope it helps you Anon!


  79. Anonymous

    Thanks! This helps a lot! 🙂

  80. Melinda

    What you say is so true… All the JW’s care about is how you are doing in field service…if you don’t go out a lot and have a lot of hours You are out of the click…Nobody wants to be your friend nor do they want their children playing with your children…It’s all about SHOW….You have to have all of your family be a JW or you are an OUTCAST…. Thats the way I felt when I went to the Kingdom Hall…They would talk to me at the Hall but not associate with outside of the Hall….I did question this to the elder that Its not like what they put in the magazines…He told me that is just black and white….Duh!!! The other elder was calling me an apostate…Go figure…typical JW Elder answer…..

  81. Yes. I agree with you. It is all for show. It has nothing to do with the real heart of the matter. It is all about the activity and the social pecking order. The payoff is status in the group and it is tremendously important to have that status to a lot of JW’s.

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts Melinda!


  82. Yep. If you can’t understand it and you can’t answer it and you can’t silence it…disfellowship it.

  83. A 1975 Survivor

    I found your site by accident while looking for information about JW. I have never joined JW, although I know about them since I was 12 years old. (I am in my late 50’s.) I was told by a JW friend that 1975 will mark the end of the system of things. She gave me the WT books, magazines and a few tracts about that. I admit I was fascinated, because I thought she knew a lot about the Bible. My grandfather found out I was getting involved with her, so he took all the literature and sent them back to the person who sent me these things and a letter telling her not to bother me anymore. I asked him why and he said he knew about the JW, because he was a boy when he heard about Jesus coming to earth in 1914. And he said nothing happened except we had WW1 and WW2. Since the world hadn’t ended at both predicted years, he said it won’t happen in 1975. Well as you can see we survived 1975.

    There is nothing the JW can do to convince me about the end of the world and their paradise. Recently I studied with some of them and when I questioned these dates, they said WT admitted they were wrong in setting dates. They asked me why I didn’t join their religion. I simply said I lived through 1975 and that friend who told me about these things committed suicide. I want answers for her suicide. I am a Christian and I have read and studied the Bible for many years. I collected many JW books (mostly now considered old light). What really amazes me is the Bible itself has been consistent throughout centuries. I cannot say the same for the New World Translation and their other books.

    Whenever I raised questions about their doctrines, I get either heated responses or they’d say “Let’s change the subject. I will send you copies and you read them for yourself.” The people whom I had “Bible Study” with are the nicest people on surface, but I know deep inside, it is all a facade. After several heated but friendly discussions with certain doctrines and my refusal to accept the WT’s teachings, I haven’ heard from them again.

    I enjoy reading your articles and comments very much. Keep up the good work, Doug.

  84. Thank you very much!

    Sadly suicide is far too common in the JW’s as are psychological problems in general. Yet to hear them talk, they lead an ideal life full of happiness and fulfillment. As with everything else Watchtower related, their claims fall far short of actual reality.

    It isn’t until you’ve been in the group for several years, usually, that you start to learn about the many problems and issues that many of the individuals attending are really experiencing. Divorce, suicide, adultery, pedophilia, cliques and a host of other issues adversely affect the members. Yet to hear them talk, none of these things is present in their Kingdom Halls. They will point their fingers at “the world” and claim that they don’t have the problems and issues affecting people outside of the organization. Yet the reality is that they have just as many if not MORE problems than people outside of the “protection” of the FDS.

    I also found it interesting that you focused in on the two major stressors for JW’s: Armageddon and “The New System” (a phrase that doesn’t occur in the Bible at all.) This is a key selling point for the Jehovah’s Witnesses. They stress the “fact” that Armageddon is “just around the corner” and that the only solution to that dilemma is becoming a Jehovah’s Witness so that you can live through it into their paradise. It plays on the fears and emotions of anyone hearing their message and that is why you will see a lot of scenes depicting the end of the world on their magazines as well as scenes of a paradise on earth. I call it the “theocratic one-two punch.”

    You are right. Once the JW realizes that they aren’t going to get a convert for the Watchtower they pretty much move on to easier targets. They can’t stand to be contradicted or to have anything they believe to be called into question. They maintain that their “theology” is bullet proof yet when they meet someone who knows the Bible and the Watchtower’s true history they can’t even stand to be in the same room with them and have to leave.

    I remember when I would ask elders about sensitive things in the Watchtower past the first question out of their mouths was: “Who have you been talking to?” It wasn’t surprise or even denial. They wanted to know WHO I was talking with or WHAT I was reading or WHERE I got that information. (This was before the internet.)

    I specifically remember asking an elder about the 24 elders mentioned in Revelation and asking him who they were because they weren’t part of the 144,000. He didn’t answer my question. He did get visibly hostile and wanted to know who I had been talking to. I remember being completely berated by a sister who disliked the fact that I read a scripture out loud during a service meeting that made it plain that anyone resurrected cannot die. (Luke 20:36) This directly flies in the face of the Watchtower teaching that anyone resurrected to an earthly life can die again. I didn’t interpret it. I just read the scripture in response to a topic already being discussed. After the meeting was over, this normally “sweet nice polite” older sister (wife of a presiding overseer) went off on me in front of an elder and he didn’t defend me at all. I just stood there in shock.

    I find it ironic that JW’s have such a violent reaction to those who challenge them because THEY are the ones seeking out people to discuss their religion with! As was my point with an anonymous poster earlier THEY COME TO OUR HOUSE and when they get called out on their own BS they get mad and start calling US trouble makers!

    Something about throwing rocks in a glass house?

    Thanks for sharing!


  85. Anonymous too

    Thank you Doug for this site and for the link to Crisis of Conscience. I couldn’t stop reading it! I was one of Jehovah’s Witnesses for almost 30 years and after being watched by the elders and others for the last several years and feeling that I was being accused of something I didn’t do, I felt I had to leave. When I read the book i kept crying as I read Ray’s experience of finding the REAL truth of the Bible – so many experiences that mirrored my own “revelations” of truth. I appreciated how humble and respectful his words were.

    I disassociated myself a year and a half ago. I was determined to study the Bible on it’s own merit without any outside help for or against the Witnesses, so I have avoided all “apostate” (and JW sources) until recently. I used the New World Translation, the parallel bible and Greek Interlinear. My sister was baptized about the same time I was. I told her about the exciting truths I was learning and she gently tried to steer me back on path, but I was determined to prove the truth to myself. One day she called me and was so upset that it was taking me so long to study the Bible and warned me that we didn’t have much time left! She accused me of offending God. Offending God? By studying his Word and trying to come to an accurate understanding? By the phrases she used I could tell which elder she had been talking to. I fell apart and could do nothing but sob and pray for God’s direction. Finally it popped into my head, “Stop pretending!” It was so strong that I knew it was from God. I knew it was time to take a stand and could feel myself growing stronger. It was a very painful departure, but my conscience would no longer allow me to be known as one of Jehovah’s Witnesses. I had to stop pretending to be one!

    As far as the other Anonymous comment – we had 2 suicides in our congregation. They were brother and sister, both raised as JW’s. One decided to go to college and was plagued with depression. She was on anti-depressants for a long time and (against doctor’s orders) suddenly stopped taking them. Her mother found her dead one morning as if she had fallen asleep and never woke up. Her brother went off the deep end and got involved in partying, drinking and drugs and died after overdosing.
    We actually had a talk about why so many JW’s have emotional and mental problems. They chalked it up to 1 Cor. 1:27…”God chose the weak things of the world that he might put the strong things to shame.” That is very true, but in a different sense. I was a very weak once and never believed I would ever have the strength to leave, It still amazes me when I look back and see how God gradually and gently led the way out I told a “sister” that I had a strong feeling that God didn’t want me there. Of course her answer was, “No, that’s Satan talking, not Jehovah!”
    I am in the process of writing my experience and hope one day to share it, including my own experience with the Moonies! At one of the lowest points in my life I was “found” by one of their followers in downtown LA and spent a weekend at their camp in the San Bernadino mountains. The pressure to stay with them and out of Satan’s world was very strong! You’d think I would have learned my lesson the first time. I was very weak and the strength I have now is not mine, but a gracious gift from God! 1 Cor 4:13 ” For all things I have the strength by virtue of him who imparts power to me”. 🙂

  86. Anonymous too

    Oops! That last scripture was Philppians 4:13.

  87. I think that when you finally make the “jump” from Jehovah’s Witnesses having the only truth to THE BIBLE has the only truth that is when you realize just how screwed up the religion really is and it is in that moment of certainty that truth is really found.

    Thank you for your candid and quite eloquent remarks.


  88. “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”

    I LOVE that scripture!

  89. Anonymous


  90. Anonymous

    Read the bible all of yall

  91. Anonymous

    Your full of it

  92. Anonymous

    one day this world will end and all the pleasures will too ya’ll all dumb for listening to this man who is just hateful

  93. We have. Have you?

  94. Full of love for God and my fellow man? Absolutely!

    Thanks for pointing that out.


  95. Ah the last effort of a JW who has nothing better to do than to pronounce judgment on all of us.

    You’ll pardon me if your “Jehovah threats” don’t scare me. You see I’ve lived through several and they simply don’t come true.

    None of the predictions by your leaders have ever come to pass. That means that anything you say is pretty much the same.


  96. Lee

    Hi Doug,

    I am a Jehovah’s Witness and have been so for 40 years. I have served at Bethel, have served as both a Ministerial Servant and an Elder. I am now 56 years old and am now inactive.

    How I got in to this situation that I now find myself has been a gradual thing. When I stopped serving as an Elder back in 2001, I noticed almost immediately the coolness of attitude towards my wife and I. When I started missing meetings, there was an initial surge of interest in my absence, but that soon stopped. I soon discovered just by observation that the “LOVE” that is supposed to be there was only “CONDITIONAL LOVE”.

    Anyway, fast-forward to now (9-29-2014) finds me almost totally disengaged with the organization because of NEW things that I am discovering about it. ( United Nations – Hedge Funds – Child Abuse – New Donation Arrangement – etc….) I am left disillusioned, somewhat depressed that I have given so much to a “Society” of people, and what do I have now to show for it?

    Don’t get me wrong…I still love my God and I want to serve him desperately…BUT JUST HIM and not some organization headquartered in New York. My wife is thoroughly indoctrinated and the “Force” is strong within her. 🙂

    There were times when I would attempt to share with her some of the things I was discovering….she looked at them and then gave the excuse of “well there must be a good reason for them doing this or that.” I was astounded, the evidence was so blatantly obvious. I was at Bethel when all of that stuff went down with Ray Franz and company. People were getting kicked out of Bethel like there was no tomorrow. I, at the time, thought that they rightfully had it coming to them.

    Now as I reflect back on it ( and after having examined the other side of the situation – I read “Crisis of Conscience”) I now realize that I had been right in the middle of a great cover-up.

    I feel lost Doug…there is so much I want to do to fulfill Jesus command to “go therefore and make disciples”. To let others know about the wonderful benefits that God’s Kingdom can have on their lives NOW and in the future.

    I guess after all this rambling my question to you would be: “How do I exit from and organization that will not traumatize my immediate family and my other relatives that are still in the “Truth”?

    F. L. H.

  97. There’s no easy exit. Most just “fade away”. However, if you’re ever caught reading literature from another religion or attending a different church or criticizing the Not So Faithful Or Discreet Slave get ready to be called on the carpet by your local Body of Elders.

    I have lived a full life and the saddest word in the English language is “regret”. Don’t go out regretting that you had an opportunity to give a solid witness about Christ and instead you chose to remain quiet. You’ll hate that you didn’t speak up when you had the chance.


  98. Sogladimsaved

    Its something how anytime there is a hateful and venomous comment its from a JW. If they are really Gods chosen people then why are there words so full of hatred? God is love. He is merciful and long suffering. He IS love. He IS grace. The song “what’s love got to do with it’ should be one of the songs they sing at their kingdom halls because they don’t no what love is.. oh yeah there was another song called “I wanna know what love is” Love is having a relationship with Jesus who IS God himself. If one knows Jesus then one will love. The masks definitely come off when they write their terse comments. I know all about them.. I was born into the cult and there isn’t anything they can tell me either in person or my reading these blogs that will change my mind. I see right through them as they are in dire need of Jesus and His salvation. God loved the world so that He gave His only begotten Son so that whoever (including JWs) believes in Him WILL be saved. Thats a fact and with Jesus its not about field service and pioneering and df-ing people to MAYBE be spared at Armageddon. The bible says there is a SURE way to salvation, THROUGH JESUS. PERIOD. Not some manmade society who butchered the word of God to fit their lies. That’s manipulation and manipulation is of the devil because with manipulation comes deceit. The devil is the father of lies according to the word of God and they don’t want people to read the bible because it contains truth. Heaven and earth will pass away but the word of God remains FOREVER and the NWT WONT. we have to pray for these people because they are in the dark and are lost but there is still hope for them. My father is an elder and tolerates brief conversations with me because I was never baptized.if I dont call him, he won’t call me. Sad. But I have peace about it because I am a child of God and He has given me peace about it so instead of having hatred towards my father and every JW in the world I am praying for their salivation. I am praying for the JWs that post on this blog too. Brother Doug I thank God for giving you the wisdom and direction to start this website and blog. I have been out of that cult since 1980 and am now saved and a minister of the gospel of Jesus. The Lord has healed the wounds over the years and brought me out of the world and now I am a true believer of Jesus Christ and what His death and ressurection means for me personally. The things I have read have really helped me and I will continue to read here and keep you and your family in our prayers. God bless 🙂

  99. Amen and thank you for your kind words of wisdom!


  100. bill

    Doug. I wish to thank you. In one of your articles you mentioned reading through the gospels and romans. I read through romans today, and to say my eyes have been opened is an understatement. So many different points are made that fly in the face of everything that makes the watchtower what it is. From being saved by grace and not works, to the deity of christ its all there. Funny enough Romans 16:1 stood out also where paul sends a greeting to Phoebe who paul calls a deacon of the church. Even the new world translation calls her a minister of the congregation. Where does the society get off not allowing women to assume teaching roles? reading romans has done something to me mentally and emotionally. Something that 30 years as a jw never did. ive been out 6 years now but till today ive never felt completely free. Thanks again.

  101. Bill I’m so happy for you. Most people see my “exhortation” to read Romans and they skip right over it. Romans, for me, was an absolute earth shattering read and FORCED me to change my views on the deity of Christ, treatment of women, and being saved by grace and not works.

    I can only hope that your post will motivate other Jehovah’s Witnesses to read Romans for themselves as well and to do so using any other translation than their own.

    Thanks for your kind words Bill!


  102. JAN

    This answered alot of my unanswered questions, but I still have one more. Can you confirm if JW celebrate Jesus or not. A co-worker who is JW said they do for a month every year. It almost sounds like JW’s have different denominations sometimes.

  103. I’m unaware of any month long “celebration” of Jesus. They would most likely deem this sort of thing to be “worshipping the creation rather than the Creator”. Since they believe that Jehovah is the one who created all things, Jesus is treated as merely a member of the team and relegated to the same class as other “angels”.

    That being stated, they do celebrate the Memorial which, as the name indicates, commemorates the death of Christ. The “emblems” (read sacraments) are partaken of only by those who profess to be of the heavenly class. Unleavened bread and Kosher wine is used in this ceremony.

    This is celebrated in 2015 at sundown on April 3rd.

    That is the only “celebration” of Christ in the Jehovah’s Witnesses that I’m personally aware of.


  104. Ryuk

    I have yet to decide how I feel about your blog. I came across it doing some research for an essay. My essay is about God being uncaring, I needed some help finding outside sources that could contradict with my answer. But I do have a personal question for you, are you disfellowshipped? I mean no disrespect because I’m younger but I’m genuinely curious.

  105. Ryuk

    Maybe I should have added a little more information about myself, I’m a 16 year old unbaptized publisher. I’m one of those teens that struggles with association because I’ve encountered many trials with other witnesses. I’ve even been shunned by other youth in the congregation for doing what was right and telling the elders of the wrong another youth has done, I guess you could say I’m a taddle tale. But it was the right thing to do, but now I just keep things to myself because then I’ll have to deal with more hate from the youth that are brought up to be angels though they are not. But I guess it’s up to Jehovah and the truth eventually comes out. Anyway though I’m kinda a black sheep because i struggle with wanting all the piercing and tattoos and my music isn’t the best at least i believe that what I’m learning is the truth and I truly try to do what is best. It may seem like brainwashing like some say or think, sometimes its just something that feels right despite what everyone does or says because we’re all imperfect. Also Jehovah didn’t create us like robots to all have similar thinking and to be controlled, he made us with free will to make our own decisions and chose our own path.

  106. I have not been disfellowshipped. However I’ve been out since I was in my twenties. I’m now in my fifties so there’s really no need for the WT to DF me except to try to humiliate me.


  107. Annie

    I am not a JW and never have been, but unfortunately my Sister is. As children we were very close and continued to be up until about 7yrs ago. While suffering from depression she was visited by JWs who very quickly convinced her they had the truth. I had a bible study myself but being a person that questions everything, I just didn’t get it or want it for that matter. Over the next few years she slowly drifted out of my life and into the Kingdom Hall. I never hear from my sister now as I’m probably classed as bad association. I’m so angry that a religion/Cult can split up a family and have this affect on people that were once so close. I have tried to make contact but to no avail…….. Just voicing my anger.

  108. Hi Annie.

    Cult behavior is maddening to say the least. Jehovah’s Witnesses target people that are in a fragile state and it sounds like your sister was “easy pickings” for their recruitment program.

    I’ve lost touch with both of my sisters and my mother. They are all in the Jehovah’s Witnesses and I am, by default, out of their lives.

    You know you should voice your anger. That’s the only way to get it out. I’m sorry that you’re dealing with the same issues that so many of us have to face.

    The best thing in my opinion is to just let it go. Let go and resign yourself to the fact that the only way she will ever come back to you is if she leaves the cult. All efforts you exert while she is in the cult will come to nothing, unless you join her at the Kingdom Hall.

    One of the things I’ve seriously considered is to “adopt” a new set of people as my family. I’m seriously thinking about going down to the “old folks” home and visiting with them. It might do them some good and me as well.

    There’s an old saying that you can’t pick your relatives. Well maybe you can. Maybe you just have to decide who your family really is and then go from there.

    Home is where the heart is and in many respects, so is family.

    I hope you can find some peace Annie. I’m praying for you.


  109. mike

    First of all what I would like to say.I do not agree with every negative thing said here about the witnesses and most of the criticisms could be leveled at any number of church goers from nearly any denomination. They do NOT have a lock on hypocrites and most believe what they have been taught, and of course there are many hypocritEs . Aren’t there usually? But ,Patty I grew up a witness believed it with all my heart. Just a comment or 10.Do you remember the good shepherd who when a sheep had wandered off came up missing? what did the shepherd do? he went out and found it and loving carried it home .Your teaching , if it is still the same says you treat one who has fallen away as one of the world..most witnesses have friendships in the world,and usually treat non- believers they deal with kindly…but not someone who fell away, far from treating one as one of the world they turn their nose up or speak harshly to such a one assuming they just want to rebel..never thinking they may have had a loss of faith.I personally have made it well known i was always free to talk to ,,for a long time i made it known i just wanted to believe in it again…not once has any good shepherd came to me or taken the opportunity to try and restore me…just the hate..the anger that i left,,and the turned up nose,the harsh words.Had the good shepherd acted thusly ,,there would have been no parable…the sheep would still be wandering and lost . You show the same haughty arrogance , assuming to know the reason why,when you truly have no way of knowing. So much i have to say,but my memory fades on me, i may post again at some point,but i will leave it there for now.

  110. mike

    Oh and by the way…i know many Christian preachers and church members who act likewise when someone walks away from the church,so this is also not unique to them.

  111. mike

    Doug-in LUKE 3:10-14 one of your scripture quotes about the soldiers asking what they should do–the kjv actually says as well” do violence to no man”. I am not trying to be confrontational,merely asking for your input..but how could you be a soldier and not do violence to someone since war is by it’s nature violence? Any clarification or thoughts on your part would be appreciated .

  112. That is a great question. One of the things soldiers were famous for was extorting money. The following is from a commentary on this specific scripture:

    Do violence to no man.—The Greek word was the exact equivalent of the Latin concutere (whence our “concussion”), and was applied to the violence which was used by irregular troops to extort money or provisions.

    The early church writings shows no record of requiring military converts to Christianity to abandon their posts or military duties nor is there any instance in the Bible of any exhortation to do so.

    On the contrary, Paul speaks of those that serve God with the sword.

    Romans 13:4

    “For the one in authority is God’s servant for your good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for rulers do not bear the sword for no reason. They are God’s servants, agents of wrath to bring punishment on the wrongdoer.”

    This scripture shows very plainly that armed service and service to God are not mutually exclusive.

    Hopefully this helps you Mike!


  113. mike

    I had forgotten all about Romans 13:4 . Of course the watchtower would counter with God having often used secular rulers to punish wrongdoing and say that does not mean a Christian should be a part of the secular worlds’s doing so. Personally , as a Christian I have no bone to pick with any brother or sister who chooses military service, nor being a conscientious objector,as I think I myself would likely have to have been , as I truly am not settled on this matter ,but I agree no scripture stated the Roman soldier who got saved , or any other ,
    would have to leave the service . Thanks for the fast reply

  114. I think military service falls into the realm of a conscience matter. The fact is that the military draft boards allowed for such objectors to opt for alternative means of service, teaching, building roads, serving in medical facilities etc. However the Watchtower leadership strictly enforced their dogmatic stance on alternative military service by going far beyond anything in the Bible. They prohibited their followers from serving in any official capacity when drafted and instead told them to opt for prison.

    This violates the following command from Christ Himself:

    Matthew 5:41

    “If a soldier demands that you carry his gear for a mile, carry it two miles.” (This would include armor and weapons of war.)


  115. mike

    Very good point.

  116. Black cat

    What most people (including JW’s) do not realise is that the JW’s or as they were called in the early part of the 20th Century, Bible Students (a better name) that JW’s were part of a break away group from the Seventh Day Adventists in the mid 1850’s.
    They also used to advocate Armageddon would happen in 1975 (it was printed in one of the old books). (I believe they now deny they said this year). A brother of mine who is a JW elder (I have been opposed to this religion since I was 10 years old having had most of my mother’s family in it, and they all viewed me as ‘bad’ a ‘black sheep’ because I did not want to be a JW) has recently told me that Armageddon is now coming in 2104.


    A major part of the JW’s teaching is of the 144,000 chosen ones (or ‘Remnant’ as they term those ones) will go to heaven to service with God and Christ.

    However, they fail to realise that ‘heaven’ is an imaginary place.

    Scientifically, the heavens around the earth are just a thin layer of various gasses!

    I fail to see how God is in this heaven, let along the angels, Christ and the ‘remnant’.

    As Rockets, Satellites etc., go through the earth’s actual heavens (the thin layers of gasses around the earth),
    As there is a lot of traffic through the earth’s atmosphere, I am sure by now, God is well and truly Dead, if he was ever there in the first place!

    JW’s teaching is not centered on facts, but on mis interpretations/literal applications of parts of the Bible. If you are related to JW’s, they ignore you and think they are superior to you and everyone else. They practise mental, verbal and emotional cruelty towards relatives who are not JW’s, for example, an elderly aunt of 90 who is a Methodist, they completely ignore her. She is a very gentle soul who used to care for them when they were children, they have no respect for her or me.

    It is this that I most dislike (besides the incorrect information they teach). in this religion, the arrogance and lack of care towards other people who are not JW’s.

    Psychologically, studies have been made about the brain and why certain people are attracted to believing stuff they are told in religion. It all comes down to one side of the brain.

    Well, fortunately, I don’t have that sort of brain!

  117. I agree with your assessment of the Watchtower.

    I also agree that you “fail to see” how God is in heaven. That’s okay. I don’t judge. However, it seems that you’re fairly smug with your assertions made against believers as if they have something wrong with their brains.

    I will say this: It takes more faith for you to believe that life “happened” by accident than it does for me to believe that life began as an act of supreme love by an intelligent creator.


  118. Curly

    Wow….I just found your site. I was raised 4th generation JW. Although the whole family was JW, it just didn’t take with me. When I got old enough to realize that all of what I was reading was written by them, the questions at the bottom of the text was asked by them, and the answers were only to be found within their text, I knew it wasn’t for me. I never was baptized. I left completely by 16. I am now over 50. My older sister recently gently asked why I had left. I told her that our lives as children were not good and I associated a lot of what was wrong with being raised Jehovah’s Witness. She said that wasn’t fair and it wasn’t the organization’s fault. I told her it would all be one big tangled mess in my memory forever. She dropped it. She is a very dedicated witness and to me seems to suffer through a lonely and unhappy life with her chin up as she spends all her free time at meetings or in service. She may not see it that way at all, but my hunch is she thinks it will all be worth it in paradise.

    My family story would mimic those I have already read. I think anyone who has been there and left knows what it is like to see family members DFd and what it is like to be the one with the courage to question and walk away. For those thinking about leaving, life does get better. In fact, I have seen things come full circle in many situations by remaining exactly the person I have always been….

    I remember having faith as a child even though I didn’t believe what I was taught. I still have that faith, although I do not claim a religion and probably never will. I am a member of God’s church, the one established by Jesus Christ and I fit in with any one who has faith. That is the best part of the freedom I have to think, feel and believe what I want.

    Thanks Doug for this forum.

  119. Ben Patton

    Hello Doug,you are a good this site

  120. Thanks Ben!


  121. Anonymous

    So glad you came out Jehovah Witness! Just wanted to send you this link. It’s a story on you tube about an atheist who dies after going surfing at night. Amazing story. I stumbled on this one night and couldn’t quit watching it! (Don’t make my mistake and click on this until you’re ready to see the whole thing. I was exhausted the next day from staying up too late.) I saved the link and share it with people from time to time. Take care!

  122. Thanks Anonymous!


  123. Paul

    Thanks Doug, great site for anybody who wants to think for themselves.
    I was raised a witness, my mother started studying when I was 1 year old.
    My father never became a witness, and my two sisters dropped out when teenagers.
    I got married to a wonderful witness girl at age 20 and we are still together 42 years later.
    Over the years I have been troubled by changes in doctrines, flip flops on teachings etc.
    These started to really worry me when the “overlapping generations” idea was floated 10 years ago.
    I know dozens of witnesses who don’t believe this teaching at all, but most are not bold enough to say so.
    Another thing that had bugged me since an early age was the multiple “parallels” and prophetic “types” and “anti-types” – they made no sense.
    The final straws came in quick succession… The new Grey Bible, the changes to the teaching on parables.
    It was time for me to do my own research and prove to myself (and my wife) what the Bible really taught.
    Many months later, we are fading out, and happier than ever. A huge weight has been lifted from our shoulders.
    I recommend Ray Franz books. Most of all … Stop for a moment, think about all the changes to teachings, and ask… Does God change ? If his word is Truth, which I honestly believe it is… Then how can a changed understanding be right and a previous understanding of the same thing be untruth – would God allow his chosen people to promote untruth?
    Maybe those 7 old men are not chosen at all?
    That would explain a lot !

  124. Amen Paul! Amen!



  126. Thanks for sharing your story Glenn.


  127. anon


  128. Mary

    I’m not sure if this is the place I want to post this but I will give it a try. My hubby has been studying with JW for about 1 1/2 years and now it seems to me he is starting to take it very serious My fear is that after 30 years of marriage he is going to walk away from me and everything we’ve had. We fight about this and he says it will not happen that they encounter him to stay in this marriage and keep me happy But I feel him trying to make me change because they have showed him what the bible is really telling people( he has not even compared my bible to there bible( he said they are the same just the JW bible was wrote to easy understand. So my question is if he goes with them will he leave me for them. I feel they are brainwashing him.

  129. Hi Mary.

    I’m afraid that they’ve got him now. Unfortunately, most people don’t post or ask for help until well after the indoctrination has taken place. If we can catch someone before they are well into the process then there’s a good chance we can help them. Now? He’s probably too far gone. That’s not to say that you can’t try to help him to see the truth about what he’s been taught. However, if you’re already fighting about this then he’s probably dug his heels in and is willing to do whatever it takes to protect his fragile beliefs.

    I don’t believe he will physically leave you. The Jehovah’s Witnesses are extremely cognizant of the public relations nightmare this would cause if they split up marriages right out of the gate. What is happening is that he’s mentally leaving you. You’ve probably noticed a marked lack of intimacy and closeness in your relationship with him. This is by design. The only way to get that back is if you follow him into the cult. It will eventually get so bad that you’ll probably seek to end the relationship yourself or you’ll decide that anything is better than living with a stranger in your house that used to be your husband. You’ll then possibly decide to study with the JW’s. Anything you do that is favorable toward “the truth” as they call it, will be rewarded with the most intense “love bombing” you’ve ever experienced. That’s how most spouses are converted into the cult.

    If you continue to oppose his choice, he’ll constantly harass you about your beliefs and beg you to study their propaganda with him. He’ll constantly invite you to the meetings. He’ll leave magazines and publications lying around the house, strategically within your view, designed to get you reading them. He may insist that you not celebrate holidays in his home and he may make all sorts of demands about what you can and can’t do in “his home”. He’ll discourage having your “worldly” friends over and encourage having his new found theocratic “friends” over. Know that these are “plants” designed to come into your home and befriend you. They may even strategize before hand how to “handle” you so that they’ll make the most impact. They’ll identify with your hobbies, your home town, your history, your interests. They may even find out where you attended high school or college and bring someone who attended the same. Any specifics that your hubby can give them about you will be utilized to get you to comply.

    Is this more than a little creepy? Yes. Is it highly effective in gaining compliance? Absolutely!

    My mother was so gullible she would have believed anything. She was easy to convert. However my father was a very hard nut to crack. He held out for three years before he finally gave in and agreed to study with the JW’s. The man that studied with and converted my father worked at the same company as my father and was a high ranking manager there. Coincidence? Hardly!

    For the record: Men have all the power and prestige in the Jehovah’s Witnesses. Women are considered second class citizens and can only climb the Watchtower’s social ladder of success by being married to an “up and comer” in the congregation. Your husband’s prime directive from the JW’s is to convert you to the religion by all means necessary. Once he gets that then he can start climbing the ladder to higher prestige and power within the organization and you, being the dutiful wife, will follow right along with him.

    You have my sympathy Mary, and yes you are right:

    He’s been totally brainwashed. If I were you I’d have an exit strategy ready.

    I’d also recommend that you call his family and talk to them. Tell them what is happening and get them to help if they can. Perhaps you can arrange to have an intervention. This, by the way, is religious addiction and is quite similar to other types of addictions.


  130. Anonymous

    Thanks Doug for replying so quickly. I I have talked to his family that he has told them of his studies with the JW and they none are happy about it he has all but alienated them and they are not sure what to so or say as he is not wanting to hear what they have to say, they fell for me and hope that is some phase he is goi g thru but offer no help. We don’t see our grandchildren do to this and I have to go see them or I would never see them. As ar as our intimacy go I have noticed that he has just wanting oral sex( as we both have always enjoyed). There is no penetration on his part as he never gets off any more and tells me that it is all about him training for self control( I don’t even get that) and he wants to practice this self control about 3-4 times a week at times he asks for twice a day without release of any kind. I have also found out that he is giving them money, he tells me they never ask for money he has offered it to help them pay for there gas, as they do all there studying at our house and I am worried that they will start wanting more, we do have a lot of nice thing and we both have new cars( they always tell him how lucky we are to have so much( witch I have worked very hard for as so has he) at what point are they going to want him to come to there Kingdom Hall? I have so many questions the JW has always been like a cult to me and yes I do believe there are nice and wonderful people there but I never wanted to be a part of them. I have started moving some of my finances around that he knows nothing about( but feel like I am being unfaithful). Just being able to talk with someone has helped me fell better

  131. Mary

    Comment above is from Mary

  132. You have nothing to feel guilty about.

    He changed the game and the rules, not you. He decided to join a mind control cult, not you. He fundamentally changed the nature of your relationship, not you.

    Your job is to protect yourself, period.

    I’m glad that you feel better now that you’ve talked with someone. I hope that things will improve with time but the fact is that you can’t allow him to call all the shots. You’ve got to maintain some control over your own life and finances.

    I strongly recommend that you read Steven Hassan’s “Combatting Cult Mind Control”. It is probably the best book you could possibly read at this stage of your husband’s indoctrination.


  133. ForcedBelieves

    Doug, incredible blog. I just discovered this today after liking Ex Jehovah’s Witnesses Support page on facebook and getting here through a link. I left when I was 17 (my father was overjoyed ofcourse 😉 and luckely never got baptised, I always sensed there was something fishy going on even at a young age. I’m an atheist myself now but I like it a lot that you don’t push your own beliefs on this page. I respect that in people. My father was an elderly and is someone that is still very active in their community. I needed years to get over the intense manipulation of my father that practically memorized their bible and was considered the local Jehovah’s witness encyclopedia. I was very good at asking tricky questions but my father made it into an art to counteract as well as possible to make sure I didn’t stray (in his mind). When things got hairy for him finding some answer he would mostly threaten with armageddon. As I read here and realize now many people had nightmares because of this godawful threats made by them and it was very hard for me as well. I just wish I discovered your blog many many years ago since this could have more easily helped me recover from the intense conditioning. I did a decade of soft drug abuse just because of depression and low self esteem. Reading some things on your site gave many flashbacks that I had already forgotten about them but remember now. It’s like remembering a nightmare. It’s now 14 years since I left that organisation and still it leaves a bad taste in my mouth thinking about it. I hope that this site will convince anyone to look in a different direction and avoid their congregation as if it was infested with the bubonic plague.

  134. I’m glad you found the blog and that it has helped. Your post really highlights all the reasons I do this. I do it because I know there are many thousands if not millions of messed up people as a direct result of their involvement in this mind control cult.

    I’m so glad you made it out.


  135. Anonymous

    Hey to all the Jehovah’s witness out there. If you can’t keep your temper, do not post. Your giving a bad witness. Just because your personal identity cannot be found, your still associated with Jehovah’s witness.

    The people here have their opinions, I do not agree with their reasoning, but they are entitled to it. Just be concerned about your own spirituality, do not stumble others, and be the person in private, as you are in public.

  136. Well said Anonymous! The one attribute that makes us all tolerant, as well as tolerable, is merely a little class.


  137. Anonymous

    Love it! I just started studying with the witnesses, going on two months now. One of the older men and his wife is studying with me. I love the people. They are polite and kind. I do have problems with some of their doctrines. For example, I just read the other day in Isaiah where it is prophecies that Jesus’ name would be called not only the ” Mighty God” but also the “Everlasting Father”. Also in Hebrews God says, ” Thy throne Oh God shall be established forever and ever”‘ speaking of Jesus. But wouldn’t you know they had a way of explaining that first one away? I also can’t agree with their idea or doctrine that Satan’s torment forever will be eternal annialkation not torment in the lake of fire.They offered no scripture to support these ideas just gave me I guess the common rebuttles they’ve heard all their lives. I don’t think I can go around telling people what they tell them. They do have some Truth but there is so much error too. I just wanted a group I could be a part of and maybe witness with. I witness alone at present. I guess I’m going to have to keep doing this alone.


  138. God likes loners.


  139. Well, I certainly hope so. I going out today, Lord willing, alone to witness to the harlots that walk up and down a major street in our city. One called me the other day I think asking me about hell. People need to be told about the bad news as well as the good. Someone has got to do it.


  140. John McCarthy

    DOUG – I have never posted to your site before and wanted to make a few comments. First of all, thank you so much for creating this website and sharing your knowledge about the “real” truth concerning the Watchtower. Although there are many other sites, blogs and youtube videos concerning the experiences of ex-JW’s, I have found your approach to be quite refreshing and enjoyable. Taking your time and resources to do this shows how much you really care! I’m an ex-JW myself. By the time I disassociated from the Watchtower, I had been serving as an Elder for several years, but was becoming very discouraged and depressed over what I saw occurring in the organization. The unexplained discrepancies within the literature, the lack of any genuine love within the congregations, the misogynistic practices which I truly hate, the favoritism and politics within the Elder body, was all making me sick. Also, you can never do enough or give enough of your time, energy and money to the Society. It’s always jump higher and give more and more and more!

    JWs – I notice a few JWs have posted their concerns on this site. As you already mentioned Doug, why are JW’s even posting on a site that has a lot of apostates like me who are providing their experiences? To you JW’s, if the Elders of your congregation knew you were here “associating” with apostates, I guarantee your butts would be on a chair in the back room of your Kingdom Hall facing a Judicial Committee before you even knew it! You might respond to this by saying they will never find out. My response to this is, but won’t Jehovah know? If you’re truly a faithful Jehovah’s Witness, you and I know you shouldn’t be here. If you just come here to call us names and ridicule us, (like the Watchtower enjoys doing) we’re really not impressed. It really just shows immaturity on your part. If you really cared about us, shouldn’t you be trying to win us back into the congregation with kindness and love? Oh I forgot, the Watchtower doesn’t teach unconditional love. My bad. On the other hand, if any of you JW’s are honestly having any doubts about the organization, than by all means keep reading and researching. This is a great site for assistance. Doug will help you anyway he can, but don’t stop here. There’s JWfacts., JWsurvey, JWvictims, JWstruggle, to just name a few. Google them and start reading. You might be quite surprised at what you find out, if you have the courage to face the real truth about the WTBTS. Oh and we don’t have to lie, misquote sources or make up things to disprove Watchtower teachings or practices. We can simply use your own publications to do that! Hypocrisy and false teachings within the organization are easy to find, if you know where to look and are willing to do so.

    TEENS – Doug has posted some great comments and suggestions for teens who realize the Watchtower is a cult and want to get out but can’t at this time because of living at home with Witness parents. If you’re a teen reading this and you haven’t read Doug’s comments on this topic, go back up this page and read them at the link provided. If you have read them, I would just like to add a few things to that discussion. First of all – “Play the Game.” – While you still have to live at home, go along with program to a certain extent. Just pretend to like what’s going on and play along. If someone is studying with you, feign an interest. If you have to go out in service, fake it! Find creative ways to get time in. Secondly – “Don’t Get Baptized.” – If you can possibly put it off indefinitely, do so. Don’t commit to being dunked. Tell the Elders (if necessary) that you’re not spiritually ready for baptism or that you need more time to study or that you have more questions that need to ne answered….anything! Just put it off as long as you can. (Forever if that’s possible) If you can stay unbaptized, it may help you maintain some type of cordial relationship with your witness relatives when you do leave home and the organization. Thirdly – “Prepare to be Shunned” – One thing that’s guaranteed is that there are no guarantees when you leave the Watchtower. While you’re still living at home, start quietly and slowly preparing a support system outside the congregation for when you do leave home. Maintain relationships with non-JW family and friends and start quietly making new non-JW friends over time. Once you’re ready to leave home and leave the Watchtower, you might face complete shunning from your JW family and JW friends, whether you’re baptized or not. So be prepared to possibly face that reality. Having a support system in place however before you leave, can help to some degree, make up for that loss.

    DOUG – Please keep doing what you’re doing in providing a safe haven for anyone wanting to discuss these issues with you and for proving needed assistance to those wanting to escape the Watchtower’s grip. Despite the occasional name calling and insults, remember there are many, many more of us out here who support the fine work you are doing and appreciate all you do! Thanks Doug! John

  141. Thanks for your kind words John!

    Your comments about the group are spot on! I particularly liked the “not getting dunked” advice.

    Please feel free to post again as you feel the need or inspiration to do so. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this one!


  142. Lisa

    Doug thank you so much for taking the time to help others out of the JW’s.

    I really need your help but I need to share my story with you so you completely understand where I stand. In 2009 my daughter earned a full scholarship to an out of state college. She met or was targeted by a sweet,handsome young man. Her being out of state at college we were unaware that this young man and his whole family were JW’s. They talked her into going to the meetings with them and she fell for everything they said. By the time we were made aware of this it was too late. We tried everything to get her to listen to us but she refused. The JW’s were rite and everyone else was wrong. This young mans family owned their own business and they gave her a job this just made it even harder to get her to listen. The JW’s made her feel so guilty about everything she did that they convinced her to tell on the young for them being intimate together which caused him to get disassociated and his family was furious with her for telling on him and they started making her life a living hell. So they finally fired her from her job and she returned home to us fortunately we were not JW’s and she had a family to come home to but she still believed all this garbage and wanted to keep going to the Kingdom Hall. Finally she met a new young man that was not a JW and she stopped going even though she apparently never got past it because recently she broke up with her boyfriend and the first thing she did is went back to the Kingdom Hall again and we are back to square one. Just so you know she was raised a Southern Baptist she played the piano in church every Sunday morning for about 5 years before going off to college and now she has give a up her whole family and everything we believe in. I need help. What can we do when she refuses to listen to anything we say?

  143. Keep showing her that you love her and prove to her that your love is unconditional. The love the JW’s give out is heavily conditional upon her performance in the cult.

    Read Steven Hassan’s book: Combatting Cult Mind Control.


    These are the things I would do for her and for your own sanity.


  144. Deborah

    Hi Doug,
    My parents are being targeted by JW ‘friends’ and I’m frantically searching for information on the organization on the internet. My dad is 80, and has been going to meetings secretly for the last couple of years. Recently he’s been more open about his association with the group, and is now pressuring my mother to go to meetings and events. They almost went to Mexico with them under the pretense that it was a holiday trip, but when they found out it was to basically preach to the poor, they backed out. But I am worried about my father, who is not educated beyond high school and is a retired blue collar dad, who has worked hard and been a good provider. My fears are that they’ll draw him in so far that he’ll withdraw from us, buy into their warped beliefs about blood and leave my mother penniless because he’s giving them their retirement savings. We’ve never been particularly active in our United Church, but he’s suddenly looking towards the Bible for answers. Our family has had some heartbreak recently and he’s uncertain and afraid about life, as well as being lonely. They live in Canada, in a rural area of Ontario away from my brother and I, and these JW friends have insinuated themselves into their lives. They really seem like nice people, but I’m very concerned that my parents are being duped into joining a harmful cult that brainwashes it’s members, is misogynistic and discourages educating their children! He is searching for answers as his life winds down and the United church didn’t give him what he was searching for. Enter the JWs who have ALL the answers! What can I do? I go home in the next few days to try and talk to him–but I need some guidance on how best to approach this problem. Your advice is much appreciated–as is your website. Thank you.

  145. Hi Deborah.

    As we get older, life does become a lot more precious and we do get lonely. Suddenly we long to have meaning in our lives and an “endgame” of sorts that helps us to know that our lives weren’t entirely purposeless. Groups like Jehovah’s Witnesses capitalize on this need in a big way. They seek out the disenfranchised, the elderly, the poor and the uneducated.

    You’re right, the cult is misogynistic and it strongly discourages higher education among it’s members. To my knowledge they’ve never discouraged finishing high school but they have actively discouraged, if not outright condemned, college education as a quick path out of the organization. Of course they are right in feeling that higher education will lead a person to question the errant beliefs of the Watchtower Bible & Tract Society. One of the hallmarks of a good education is the ability to think critically, something the Watchtower actively condemns as “Satanic” in their weekly meetings.

    I urge you to be more aware of your parent’s activities and finances as the Watchtower leadership, in recent years, has encouraged the willing of personal assets to the organization. They are especially adept at isolating the elderly and convincing them to will some or all of their assets to the organization in the event of their death.

    A hallmark of cults is that they “divide and conquer”. They actively isolate their followers from their families and “worldly” friends to make them more loyal (read dependent) and less likely to “regress” back into their old associations.

    I’ve written several articles over the years that may be of help to you. I’m including some links below:

    I strongly advise you not to openly criticize the cult as this plays directly into their hands. They have already “inoculated” your father against open and hostile criticism of his new found beliefs and religion. He’s already been trained to expect hostility from “worldly” people and your open and honest criticism of his decision will only serve to drive him further away from you and closer to the cult.

    Instead, arrange to spend time with your parents doing things that they love to do that have nothing to do with your father’s religion. What are his hobbies? What did he used to love doing? Perhaps he loves fishing, playing cards, travel etc. Whatever it was that used to make him happy, your best chance of getting him “back” is to make him a central part of your life apart from religion and remind him of the joy that he had before he became affiliated with Jehovah’s Witnesses.

    Resist the urge to criticize your father or his beliefs.

    I remember when my teenage daughter brought home a guy that, shall we say, wasn’t the right choice for her. My first thought was to scream at her for being so naive and stupid. Having studied psychology and human behavior, I chose the wiser path of showing her that I respected her right to make her own choices, even though they were awful in this particular instance. When she saw that I wasn’t going to react in the manner she expected and had even planned for, all of the “payoffs” of her very poor choice in a man melted away and she, in her wisdom, chose to end the relationship soon thereafter. If I had instead gone full blown “Alpha Male” in that instance, it might have caused her to try to “prove me wrong” by staying in the relationship, ignoring her own inner voice of reason.

    Elderly people are a lot like teenagers. They keep secrets, rail against perceived “authority”, and will even put themselves and others in dangerous situations just to prove that they have the right to make their own decisions apart from your influence.

    If you find evidence that your father is being victimized by the group or by individuals therein then it may be time to look at certain legal remedies you can pursue to avoid catastrophic financial ruin.

    Read Steve Hassan’s book “Combatting Cult Mind Control”. That’s a really good, basic primer on cults, their strategy and how to beat them at their own game.

    Please don’t blame your father. A lot of really good, highly educated, and intelligent people fall for the intoxicating lure of the cults. The human need to find meaning and to be included in something bigger than ourselves is actually quite normal and becomes increasingly powerful as we age. The sad part is that deceptive groups like Jehovah’s Witnesses exploit this need to their full advantage.

    All my best.


  146. Deborah

    Hello and thank you Doug,
    I took your advice along with much of your posts printed and put into a binder and visited my family. The key thing that worked (at least in part) was that we took the soft approach and didn’t browbeat or criticize my mom and dad on the subject of their new found ‘religion’. My brother and sister and I sat down and calmly explained our concerns and we were able to engage my dad in an honest conversation. As you suggested, my brother took my dad golfing–and activity he enjoys and they had another productive talk. What we discovered was that he did like the camaraderie he experienced with the group but the real lure is the bible study. He assures us that he doesn’t agree with many of the things they preach–he believes in Government, he’s ex-navy and very patriotic. He also insists he’ll never be baptized and he doesn’t give them money. (I am a little skeptical about this but we chose our battles this time) I implored him to keep an open mind and remain critical of things that don’t sound right, and I asked him to keep asking the hard questions and insisting on being heard. I heard a story about him being at a meeting and was happy about knowing an answer to a question but was quashed and admonished for showing his enthusiasm to answer. You see he was still new, and probably wouldn’t have given the stock answer as they wanted it. I felt very badly about that and asked him just what sort of loving, inclusive group would treat someone that way? I pointed out many of the inconsistencies with their ‘truth’ and the false predictions and especially with their rewritten bible. My mom was won over again and has been unable to put down the binder of info I gave her–which included some of the posts you mentioned above. I’ve since printed out the rest of the articles you recommend and will be sending them to her as well–THANK YOU. We’re staying more engaged with my parents, because they are more vulnerable than they used to be. We’ll continue to ask questions and make sure they know we love and cherish them and never want them to come to any harm– especially at the hands of opportunistic organizations. It is an ongoing situation, but I’m not giving up. Your advice is very welcomed and appreciated and we will be following up on your suggestions. Thank you again, for being so helpful and generous with your time and advice. You are a Godsend–in very many ways!
    Best regards,

  147. Hello Doug!
    I just need to tell you that I’m thankful for your blog. I am reading and researching everything about the Watctower and their beliefs because my youngest daughter has been studying with them for years and she didn’t tell me. So far what I have discovered is that they are teaching the opposite of what the bible teaches and that they are more on the side of satan than they are anything else. It scares me that the governing body is taking the place of Jesus, that they demand total loyalty, and that they lie about everything pertaining to salvation. They are the true modern day Pharisees from my perspective. I have been a Christian (Baptist) for over 30 years, and have never run into anything like this sect. I knew a girl that was a witness that lived down the street when we were in jr. high school and she committed suicide in high school. That was my extent of knowledge of jehovah witnesses. And now I am FLOORED by what I have been learning. I read Steven Hassan’s book on mind control also. So as I go along learning as much as possible about this religion, I am making plans on how to redirect my daughter from these false teachings. Am I assessing this sect correctly or am I being too judgmental? Please help me…
    God Bless you all,

  148. Deborah

    Doug’s response to me above may help you. When I discovered my dad was involved with the JW’s I really went on the offensive with him and it didn’t really hit home since they actually are programmed to accept this sort of ‘persecution’ and think Jehovah loves them more when they are attacked. So we softened our stance as Doug recommended and it worked better. Now we’ll just keep chipping away and hope we get through very soon. Good luck with your daughter–from what I’ve found on the internet, Doug is an excellent resource who has been there as a JW and as a father and he knows what you’re going through. God Bless.

  149. Jennifer

    For the past 5 months my BF of 12 yrs has been going to a JW church and also Bible Studies on Saturdays. I’m glad he’s interested in the Bible. He’s 68 yrs old and I’m 61 yrs old. I didn’t marry him because at our age we take a loss on our income. Anyway, back to JW. I feel he is getting controlled or manipulative more and more each week from associating with the JW’s. I see it in his personality. He keeps trying to slave me around like telling me to go cook him dinner, not asking. Not even helping around the house either. He is acting like he’s entitled to do whatever he pleases and I’m Aunt Jemima reincarnated. Well, I don’t mind cooking but that’s when I want to cook not when someone is laying in bed like a King after I’ve been working till midnight. If he gets weird on me I will tell him in a calm way that I am not submissive and won’t be submissive. I feel a man should treat his woman as he would treat himself and vice versa. I also went to the JW church 3 times and knew I couldn’t go any more. I am a conversationalist. I tried to talk to a male JW and he shunned me like I wasn’t even there. I said, ok buddy that’s enough for me. I’ve been around so many different churches in my lifetime that it didn’t take long to see that the JW church is strictly a Stefford Wife remake. Very controlling by men. I don’t understand it but after reading the rules of the JW’s I get just enough out of it that it is definitely a socialistic mentality. I don’t want to pass judgement but I guess I am expressing my opinion on the matter. What I can tell you is that if I get shunned by my boyfriend then I will shun him back. And I won’t look back either. I go to a wonderful church I like and I stay focused on what God wants me to do not what someone who has been controlled wants me to. That’s the way it is.

  150. Jennifer, sorry for the delay in responding.

    Well get ready. If your BF truly wants to become a full on JW then he will break up with you or marry you. Those are his choices. If he stays in an unmarried relationship with you he will never be allowed to be baptized or otherwise fully accepted by the JW’s.

    His new misogynistic attitudes and behaviors are no doubt a direct result of his involvement with the Jehovah’s Witnesses. They treat their women like second class citizens in a “man’s world”. Their job is to support the men and to “be submissive in all thing”. Just wait. He’ll start telling you how to dress before long and if you ever pray in his presence you’ll have to wear a “head covering” otherwise he will be offended. Seems almost as ridiculous as the wearing of a burqa by the women of Islam.

    Your refusal to “assimilate” into the cult is not well received and the JW’s are, no doubt, whispering in your BF’s ear to end the relationship. They would much prefer that he marry one of their single JW women than to come into the JW world with an unbeliever for a wife.

    You sound like a very secure, self-directed and independent woman. Good for you! I suggest that you have a plan for escape if your BF doesn’t figure this out and quickly.


  151. Shelley

    Does any know if there are any legal recourses/actions that may be taken when an elder enter into a private residance under false pretence, mistreating sheep?

  152. If he’s invited in then the only way you can prosecute him under the law is if there’s a restraining order in place.

    Of course if he’s abusing anyone emotionally there’s always civil court.


  153. Anonymous

    I became a JW in 1997 after meeting my wife a life long second gen JW. Her first husband committed suicide and left her with a 6 and 8 year old. I married and fully adopted them and had a third child with her. I have always been a Highly critical thinker and at first did all the things the JWs did and moved up to gain responsibility in the ORG. I love my family and have always told my children that I love them UNCONDITIONALLY, I have hammered that into them in hopes that it would offset some of the brainwashing they were taught. I rejoiced when they stopped the home Bible study groups and again when they cut back the meeting times.I am in my 50s and have slowly curtailed my involvement in all things JW. But keep just enough semblance of affiliation to avoid her family and now my grandchildren to associate. I have never made any real friends in the org as I have been able to see through them. I have no problem functioning in the real “wordly” world, I was 32 when I came into contact with JWs and since i grew up a military brat and my own family has never been very religious. I easily make friends outside the JWs. Thier DFing keeps me from fully going rouge.So like MANY JWs I lead a double life. YES many do! I will continue to fade and put distance there. I feel for my wife as it is very true about the Low self esteem that seems to prevail within the group because of what their teachings inculcate n their members (My wife!) and especially for lifelong members.Yes you can participate and raise your hand to answer but never do you get to question the WT or Awake. Although I have sat their in the meeting fantasizing at the meeting how it would go if after calling on me I ASKED a question about the paragraph instead of regurgitating the answer given me.:)

    Thanks for the forum Doug.

  154. Amanda Galaviz-Herman

    Thank you so much for this site. I too was raised a JW and felt that not only was I robbed of my childhood, but robbed into not having a happier childhood. I always felt in my heart that it was NOT for me. They had nothing for kids to do but sit there and stay silent. Be seen and not heard basically. I felt everyone was so judgmental and heaven forbid someone sin outside the congregation. I mean really? At 29 years old I accepted the Lord to truly come into my life and was saved as a Christian. I have never felt so loved in my entire life. Before I knew the Lord, about a year prior, I lost my father. After I was saved I struggled on where he was since I now knew there was an eternal hell and eternal Heaven. I was now comforted by the fact that he had been saved prior to passing. I have rest that Jesus was always faithful to my dad. I’m the mother of a 10 year old daughter and my husband is the one who brought Jesus into my life. I’m thankful everyday. I’m thankful my daughter gets to received the love of Jesus and experience Christmas and it’s meaning and birthdays. Something I never had until I was a teenager. Thank you dad. Anyone on here that’s active in the JW org. Please read the NKJV bible and not a JW translation. God said do not add or remove anything from my word. He does not lie!!! Eternal hell is real and so is my testimony. God bless you Doug.

  155. Amanda Galaviz-Herman

    and to add to my comment. Who gave the elders authority to “disfellowship” someone. IF they are following the example of Jesus, why are the disfellowshipped chastized and abandoned by their own family. This religion makes me sick. Everything about it.

  156. Thank you so much Amanda. Your story is heartbreaking but not unusual. Many of the readers and subscribers of this blog have gone through similar things in their lives.

    I’m so glad you made it out and found the love of Christ!

    Thank you for posting.


  157. Lou

    I’d like to ask some questions?
    I’m of a non religious back ground but I’m asking for advice…

    My partner is a non JW, but his wife(separated for a while) has turned to a faith. I don’t not believe her intentions are from a good place.
    They have children together, and before separation she was not taking the children to meetings.. now she insists on doing it? When they were first married she didn’t follow the JW faith nor did she when the children were born. Now I feel she is forcing a religion upon them to spite the children’s father.
    She drinks to get drunk and goes out dancing at times. She’s not faithful or loyal.
    The children aren’t allowed birthdays, Christmas any events that they we were before.
    Surly a child should be allowed to follow a faith of their choosing if it was not the mother and the fathers decision at time of birth or marriage. I’m not saying JW faith is wrong but I believe what she is doing is. The children are worried about upsetting their mother if we talk about any that could harm JW faith (not that that’s intentional .. Santa for example). I have three children of my own, their religion undecided until they are old
    Enough to understand and decide where they want to be or belong. I myself believe in heaven and Hell a life after death. ‘God’ if you will. But I don’t believe in a mother using a religion to push a good father away from his children and to punish other children such as my own.
    My questions are … surely it should say something in the JW faith where people/parents cant use their children in this manner? What about a mother that believes a father that doesn’t and children that are undecided?

  158. Firstly I think it bears mentioning that any stressful period in a former JW’s life can trigger a rapid return to the fold, so to speak. This may be a perfectly “normal” reaction to the stress of losing her husband. This happens a lot.

    Secondly, it may very well be that she is enjoying the angst she’s created in you and your significant other. That’s probably a side benefit.

    Nothing really that you can do here other than to fully support his children while they are in your care and make sure they know that they are loved unconditionally. Love in the JW’s is highly conditional upon performance in the religion, i.e. commenting at meetings, being active in the Kingdom Hall and going door to door preaching. They will learn soon enough that they are being judged constantly by the group and this continues into adulthood.

    I’d do some research by reading this blog and others. You’ll find out a lot about the religion and also how to best deal with issues that come up.

    If you don’t want to cause problems, resist the urge to speak disparagingly of the mother’s religion. It’s her choice and she can legally take her children to “church” with her. However, being kind, loving, and supportive of those same children when you and your significant other have visitation will go a long way toward giving them a second option.


  159. ProudlyJW

    I hate how you talk so negatively when it’s yourself that has a problem, are you personally disgruntled against the witnesses because of your own disfellowship?. disfellowship is no easy process and you would have to do something bad to get there and have know the consequences as in refusal to repent or regret your wrong. two on one Bible study what are you on about? Studies are one to one and nobody is forced into it. If you can’t acknowledge Bible base truths because you have a problem with someone or the organisation you were not there for the right reason which is to serve jehovah not man. I pray in time you will see how wrong you are and return….

  160. I rest my case. In the minds of the faithful (read brainwashed) the organization and its teaching are NEVER at fault, NEVER questioned. Instead, it is always the individual, dissenting member, that is seen as the problem and subsequently treated as a pariah.

    There is never an attempt to discuss the issues openly or even listen to the dissenting member’s argument or complaint. Instead all meetings with the accused are closed door events with only men (usually just three) allowed to interrogate and judge.

    Here’s a little inside tip: Usually the decision as to whether to disfellowship or not has already been made by a “higher up” (Presiding Overseer) before the meeting ever even occurs. The elders involved on the Judicial Committee, are more or less “front men” for the real decision makers in the Kingdom Hall.

    The offender is labeled an apostate and summarily disfellowshipped before they have a chance to “contaminate” the rest of the fold. The congregation, and even their family, is warned not to speak with the accused, else they risk the same treatment for themselves. The organization, its teachings, and its checkered and highly questionable history, are never called into question.

    Nicely done Proud JW! Thanks for making so many of my points for me on this blog. Remember, “pride goeth before the fall”!

    FYI: I’ve never been disfellowshipped and won’t be. The Watchtower leaders are scared to death of my ability to sue them for defamation of character and violation of my civil rights to freedom of speech, and freedom of religion as guaranteed under the U.S. Constitution. They also hate publicity and prefer to settle such claims out of court when they can. Will they ever come after me? My attorney and I sure hope so!


  161. Annette Haines

    Several years ago, a JW lady came to my house. She was by herself, although there were people in a car waiting for her. We talked about a lot of things and I asked her what happens when we die. And she said something to the effect that we may be part of God’s kingdom on earth. So I asked if she knew whether she would be part of it, and she said, “You won’t know that until you die.” So I asked, “What if you don’t make it into the kingdom?” And she said, sadly, “Then you’re annihilated.” So I clarified what she said. “You can’t guarantee that I’ll be in the kingdom, but you can guarantee I won’t go to Hell. I’ll just disappear?” And she said, “That’s right.” So I asked the only logical question: “Then, why bother? If I don’t make it into the kingdom, I still won’t suffer forever. I can live with that.” She left immediately. Another pair came to my house a few years ago and we had a good conversation. I referred to John 1:1 (I know, you’re not supposed to do that.) I told her that for over a 1000 years that verse has been used in the article in it, and nobody got it right until the New World Translation came out? Couldn’t God have made sure that the translators got it right sooner than this? So she assured me that lots of translations do it like the JWs do; it’s not really new. So I dropped it. Then we talked about getting into the kingdom, and I asked what happens to those who don’t make it. She said, firmly, “You’re separated from God forever.” That was interesting. I used to work for Child Evangelism Fellowship, and that’s the term we used to tell children what would happen to them if they didn’t receive Jesus, because a lot of parents didn’t want us talking about Hell. So I asked, “You mean, I’ll be annihilated?” She hesitated and I didn’t think she wanted to use that word, but she quickly said, “Yes,” and looked away from me. So I asked, “So why bother?” And she said, “There’s nothing worse than being separated from God forever!” I answered, “Yes, there is. It’s being AWARE that you’re separated from God. If you no longer exist, you’re not aware of God or anything else.” She looked at her partner, hoping the other lady had a response, but she didn’t. So I said, “Why don’t we agree to disagree on that?” She said, “Right!” And they were out the door in two seconds without another word. All I hoped to accomplish was to plant a seed of doubt, and I hope it happened. During the pandemic, I (along with a lot of other people in my area) got a letter from a JW , inviting me to participate in a Bible study that addresses “the most important questions in life, such as “Why does God allow suffering?” “What is the purpose of life?” and “Why do we grow old and die?” I’ve always thought, “How can I have my sins forgiven?” was the most important question to start with. So I wrote a polite letter back to her and commended her for her faithfulness in trying to reach people during this unusual time. Then I told her the same thing I’d told the others. I still haven’t heard back. I look forward to reading more of your articles.

  162. Annette,

    I love your logical approach!

    Yes JW’s have a really hard time with people who are rational. Yeah the John 1:1 thing really ticks them off. Here’s the problem: They don’t know Greek and even if you were a Greek scholar with a doctorate in Greek and you told them point blank that John 1:1 was being mistranslated in the NWT they wouldn’t accept it. Even when you show them in their own Interlinear that in the actual Greek they themselves translate is as “The Word was God.” they still won’t accept it. They have their own views (read the standard Watchtower view at the time) and that’s it. I hadn’t heard the word “annihilated” in a long time. That’s old school WT speak there. Brought me back to a very scary time in my life where I had little control and had to do what I was told or else. I’m so happy and glad I got out.